Amoretti

Fabric and Freezer Meals

2012-01-25T19:18:00.000-08:00

How 'bout some fabric? Anyone out there have any need for some fabric? One lucky duck will receive 1 1/4 yards of both of these splashy prints! (Is that confusing? It adds up to a total amount of 2 1/2 yards in case that helps clarify the situation.) The one on the left there is one of my brand new prints for Timeless Treasures . . . you can see the rest of the collection here!

What do you have to do to enter? This time I need some advice. I'm throwing out a query into the great wide void, and I'm hoping you all will have some insight for me. Here's the situation. My predicament. My secret sorrow. I persistently have lofty aspirations and pious intentions of doubling my dinner recipes and putting half on the table and half in the freezer. It sounds like it would be a good idea, right? Then on those crazed evenings when I haven't made it to the store, the car is in the shop, and all of my children have big school projects they need help on . . . I can just pull something out of the freezer. This situation occurs roughly 8 to 10 days a week, so I could definitely use a stockpile in my freezer.

And yet, despite the obvious good sense of this plan, I can only ever think of about 3 meals that I cook that actually freeze well and that would be worth the bother and that anyone would ever want to eat. That's my trouble.

So here's what I need from you. Ideas. Sympathy. Consolation. Recipes. Give me one or more of these things and I'll give you a shot at this fabric! And, as always, if you link to this post you'll get an extra entry!

Weather

2012-01-19T11:59:00.000-08:00

Remember how I was ready for Spring? Turns out I've jumped the gun. Which, since it's January, is hardly surprising really. Blizzards are occurring. Even as we speak I can see out my window a car stuck in a snow drift and people trying to shovel it out. And, yes, I know it's heartless of me to sit inside with a mug of cocoa and watch this little drama unfold, rather than grabbing my show shovel and galloping out to help . . . but there is a crew of men out there lending their aid, so I think the situation is well in hand. Oh! They just pushed it out . . . and the gang doing the pushing wiped out on their faces into the drift when the car popped loose. Awesome. You gotta love how ridiculous we all get when it snows. In the meantime, I'm sticking with my little primroses as a sign that Spring is still coming. Eventually.

Ready for Spring

2012-01-14T15:37:00.000-08:00

Primroses. I'm officially in the mood. Shall I tell you a terrible guilty secret? A bad deed that I commit every single year? I can't help it really . . . it just happens. As of December 26 I quit watering my poinsettias. Yes, I do that. I'm just not inspired anymore. I'm ready for them to go away. And I can't chuck out a perfectly healthy flower . . . it just seems wrong. (Why it seems ok to starve it into a terrible state of crunchy wilt and then throw it away I'm not sure.)

Anyway, once the poinsettia is safely out of my life I always load up on primroses. I have a chicken feeder loaded with primroses on my dining room table at this very moment as a matter of fact. (Ok that sounds gross . . . I'll have to post a picture to vindicate myself. It's actually fairly cute.)

Another of my terrible guilty secrets is that I'm awful at getting thank you notes out in a timely fashion. Really, really bad at it. But it's a New Year, so here's to trying, right? And just in case you all are in the mood for primroses like I am, and also in the mood to try and write thank you notes, here's a free download for you!
Click here - then print on card stock, slice, fold, and you're off and away!

Because I have boys too

2011-12-10T17:32:00.000-08:00

As a matter of fact, I have two sons. And believe it or not, I make things for them too . . . just not twirly skirts. I have to branch out a little bit with the boys.

Not only do I have sons, I have a boatload of nephews that I have to come up with Christmas presents for. At this point in December I'm usually casting about, wondering what I can give everyone for little to no money. (Are you with me here?!!) So this is my solution for stocking stuffers / nephew gifts / and general filler of gaps for boys: Bookplates!

This would be great to throw in with a fun new book - and it's super easy.

Step 1: Purchase the download here.
Step 2: Wait for the email that contains your link to download. (This should arrive fairly quickly - but if you live in New Zealand or something you may need to give it up to a day.)
Step 3: Download.
Step 4: Print out as many copies as you'd like - there are 4 bookplates per letter size sheet of paper. I'd recommend printing on adhesive paper or simply taking it to Kinkos and getting them to print it on adhesive for you. It's black and white - so we're talking SUPER CHEAP to print these.
Step 5: Cut apart.
Step 6: Tie with a cute ribbon or pop into a small little box.
Step 7: Congratulate yourself for having gotten all those little stocking stuffers out of the way for so ridiculously cheap!
Step 8: Save the file, and then use it again for random birthday gifts throughout the year - or party favors for your son's birthday party - or whatever!

My Sweetest Ornaments

2011-12-07T21:03:00.000-08:00

Is this not a completely gorgeous little ornament? When Ben and I were first married, for our very first Christmas, my sweet grandmother packed up a little basket of ornaments to give us that had always hung on her tree. This little boy, she told me, had been on her tree every single Christmas that she could remember since she was a little girl. I don't know where he came from, or what his story is . . . but every year I get him out of the box and tell my children that he hung on their great grandmother's tree when she was their age.

Here are some of the other ornaments she gave us that first Christmas:

Aren't they fab? I totally love them. I have other ornaments that I'm sentimentally attached to for one reason or another, but these are my absolutely most treasured ones . . . the ones that I get all uptight about and insist they hang high up the tree and no one is allowed to pack them up but me. I think that every year I get them out I appreciate that gift of hers even more.

More Reasons I love Spray Paint

2011-12-07T14:37:00.000-08:00

Is this cute, or is this cute? I ask you. I inherited a pair of these sconces . . . and although I absolutely loved the things, the brass was a bit serious looking for my house. And this, of course, is yet another reason why you should always have odds and ends of paint cans lying about the house - so that when needs like this arise, you're ready to face the situation head on. I once painted a brass candelabra with a gorgeous blue enamel - and I wish to goodness I could remember what I did with that thing. Somewhere in the comings and goings between England and Idaho it got edited out of my life.

Anyways, the brass didn't seem quite it. Brass and crystal sconces somehow suggest a home with gold tassels on pillows and a regular dusting schedule . . . and that, I'm awfully afraid, is not my home. The red seemed a better fit somehow. And I'll be honest - these just make me happy every time I look at them.

"Mr. Safety" we call him

2011-12-05T16:53:00.000-08:00

If you want to know the nitty gritty truth, I'm afraid this little shot captures the real spirit of Christmas in my home. A bit precarious. Pushing the limits just a tidge. A touch slap-dash.

We went out into the mountains to cut a Christmas tree on Saturday. Into the woods we trooped, with lovely friends who are always much more prepared than we are. They're the responsible team who bring along things like saws. They're like that. They think ahead.

This year, however, we did a little spot of our own thinking ahead. We bought not one, but two Christmas tree tags. Why? Because every year we pick out a tree that looks nice and bushy out there in the forest and snow, but when we plunk it into our house it turns out to be a miserably transparent little twiglet. Very sad. So this year we cut two. And then, follow me closely here, we stuck them together. Indeed. I was quite proud of that inspired idea.

The above is a shot of Ben working on weaving together the top branches - obviously in a very safety conscious fashion. After he finished wiring the trunks together, he went to put on the lights - which was when we discovered that our lights from years gone by had turned up their tails and died.

So we piled the fam into the car and headed out to grab some new lights. That's when the trouble began. Some of the children began lobbying for colored lights. Ben is a serious colored lights believer, and I am just as firmly in favor of white. We stood there in the Riteaid aisle, debating the point. We tried voting, and ended in a straight up tie. That's when Ben pulled out a trick from back in our dating days, that I had forgotten all about, which he calls, "ice cream bowling." I think he invented it, and I have never been a fan.

Here's the set up, and it originated in Ben's life as a way to decide on which flavor of ice cream to buy. When you stall out in a store with differing opinions about what to purchase, or simply can't make up your mind, this is his simple and incredibly inelegant solution. You set up a little goal post on the floor with some nearby merchandise - like dishsoap or something. Then you establish the fault line, and you bowl the ice cream down the aisle. The person lobbying for rocky road bowls it down the way, and the pink sherbet fan bowls in similar fashion. If your icecream sails past the dishsoap, you're disqualified. Whoever comes closest to the goal line wins.

He used to make me do this when we were dating, and I was always ready to die of shame. I'm not the sort of person to fling ice cream in stores, and I'm pretty sure that fact was the entire thrill of it for Ben - making me get all stressed out and uncomfortable.

Anyhow, back to the Christmas light controversy. There we stood in the aisle, and suddenly this uncouth tradition came back to Ben. There was nothing I could do. We were sort of near the pharmacy, so he set up a couple bottles of mineral oil on the floor. Then he made me bowl for it. Seriously. In front of my children who have now learned this very dreadful practice. They of course loved it. Ben loved it. I was mortified. And yet, I really, really, really didn't want colored lights. So I bowled.

And lost.

Colored lights it is. Next year I'm just going out myself and quietly buying white lights while no one notices.

And the winner is . . .

2011-11-25T11:38:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I hope you are all having a nice slouchy day eating loads of leftover turkey or shopping yourself into a stupor!

I just now figured out who the winner of the advent calendar is . . . and I had loads of fun reading through everyone's favorite holiday foods. To be honest, I'm wishing I'd told everyone to include the recipes - so many of the things you all listed were incredibly intriguing! I'd love to hear more about the rice pudding - and the peppermint snap cookies - and the wassail - and the yorkshire pudding - and the intensely complicated irish cream fudge - and the Christmas morning french toast strata with apple cinnamon sauce - and all the awesomely ethnic sounding foods that I have no idea what they even are! Pretty much all of it in fact. I wish I had another calendar to offer up as incentive to recipe sharing - but at the moment there wouldn't be time. December 1 is fast approaching and the lucky winner needs to be ready to pop the first door by Thursday!

So without further ado, let me announce the winner! I wish I had a name, but the winning entry came in with the author as "Unknown". Her favorite holiday food was:

Egg nog with nutmeg sprinkled on top

If that was you, drop me an email at info@amoretti-designs.com and we'll get this in the mail to you immediately! However, since I have no clues as to this person's identity, if I don't hear from you by Sunday night I'll pick another entry so that someone out there can have this calendar by the end of the week!

And in the meantime, if anyone felt like telling me how they make wassail . . . or anything else for that matter . . . I'd love it!

PS - shout out to Katie from Oxford . . . the one who sat behind us at Ebbes! Drop me an email! I'm dying to know which Katie you are! Plus, I'm totally feeling for you as you're about to celebrate the holidays in a foreign country where you can't get the right ingredients for anything and it doesn't feel Christmasy because all the familiar sights and smells are absent and you're dying for a taste of home. I actually cried when some American neighbors brought a cookie tray to our door in Oxford. It was a selection of all the cookies that everyone here gives each other at Christmas on paper plates with colored cellophane on top. Possibly with a stick-on bow if they want to get really fancy. I don't even like those cookies all that much. I never make them and I never eat them . . . but it was so lovely to see them in Oxford that I seriously cried. Over candy cane shaped sugar cookies. For real. I'm wishing I could send you some little bit of English Christmas but the only thing I have is some jars of mincemeat that I brought home from Oxford and put in the cupboard and will seriously never use. On the other hand, it's probably much more authentic than the fakey American stuff . . . this has honest to goodness suet in it, which, as someone so shrewdly pointed out in the comments, you can't buy here. Americans seem to have conscientious objections to suet. If that's what you're missing this December, just let me know and I can hook you up. Black market mincemeat . . . just sitting here lonely and unappreciated in my cupboard.

Giveaway!

2011-11-05T09:38:00.000-07:00

Guess what I just found lurking in my basement?! Besides the tattered garbage bags full of old sweaters I mean.
Ok I'll just tell you. I found my stash of advent calendars that I bought in Oxford a couple years ago at the Bodleian Library! This is exciting news actually. I grabbed a couple with the intention of doing a giveaway - but for the last two years I never think of it until December, and of course by then it's too late. But just look at me go. I thought of it early this year.

By way of context, here's a pic taken inside the Bodleian.

I know I've mentioned the Bod before. King Charles I tried to check a book out once - and the library refused. That's the kind of place we're dealing with here. No one ever has, and no one ever will check a book out. What you read, you read within the library.

They have a gift shop that's really to die for. I always loved popping in and finding out what quirky new things they had. Although, to be honest, the real reason I was always popping into the gift shop was because whenever I went into Oxford to meet Ben for lunch or something, he'd be dug into the library and the gift shop is the only portion of the library I was allowed to enter. So I could either stand in the quad in the rain, or I could go into the gift shop. I came to know it well.

This advent calendar is totally awesome. It's simply bookshelves - and the shelves are covered with vintagey, Christmasy books which are all from the Bodleian collection. I'm totally pleased I found these - I'm thinking of popping ours into a frame and hanging it on the wall for December.

So here's how to enter for the giveaway. Tell me in the comments what your very favorite Christmasy food or drink is . . . the one that you couldn't possibly do without during December. And as always, if you link to this post, you'll get a second entry! I'll choose a winner the week of Thanksgiving - and get the calendar to you before December 1 so you can find out what's behind that first door!

Q and A

2011-10-31T19:53:00.000-07:00

Ahoy out there! I've been getting questions here and there and everywhere regarding a few project details, so I'll try and very quickly hit them all.

A burning question on people's minds seems to be the garbage can scrunchy project. The first (and very crucial) question is that of the paint color I used on the can. As a matter of fact, I have things to say about this paint color. I love love love it for one thing, and it makes me all the way happy for another. Truth be told, it came about as a result of me harassing a poor innocent hardware store man out of his brains. To begin with, I took him a flower pot and told him we needed to produce a paint color to match. Right out of the starting blocks that had him raising his eyebrows at me. I should mention that this was a hardware store with a large selection of "western wear" and "farm supplies" - not by any stretch was it an interior decorator's emporium of choice. When I trotted in with my flower pot under my arm, I was addressing a man who could no doubt bail me out if I needed to trouble shoot a chainsaw with a faulty pull-cord, but he was slightly nonplussed by my need to produce a color exactly matching a flower pot. It was this flower pot as a matter of fact . . .
I needed this particular color because I was going to paint this sideboard in my dining room, and I wanted it to be that fabulous shade of turquoisey-bluish wonderfulness. (Turned out awesome, yes?) Given that the pot was handpainted, there is a good bit of variation in color and the clunky shape meant that the poor man couldn't use his little computerized thingy. In the end I talked him into experimentally shooting bits of color into a quart and giving it a whirl. Between the two of us, we came out with a winner. Come to think of it, I should probably name my custom color after him. He looked like a Leroy. Or maybe a Eugene. I like Leroy better. Let's just call this Leroy Haze. Leroy's Mist? Essence of Leroy? Here's the formula:
I have absolutely no idea if it matters, but this was TrueValue paint. And just in case you were wondering, I am a firm believer in gloss paint at all times and in all situations. Always keep in the front of your mind, Glossier=Awesomer.

As far as the actual painting of the trash can goes, I just sprayed it with metal primer and then brushed on the paint that I had left over from the buffet.

Next in the "trashcan scrunchie extravaganza" is, of course, the actual scrunchy. Since every trashcan is different, I'll just give the basic outline of how you do this.

Step 1: Measure around the rim of your trashcan.
Step 2: Record that number somewhere like on the top of your heating bill.
Step 3: Add 2" to that number.
Step 4: Cut a rectangle of laminate fabric in the following dimensions:

Step 5: On either end, fold in 1/2" towards the wrong side of the fabric. Next, follow me closely here, fold in 1/2" again. (Thus explains the extra 2" you added at the beginning.) Now stitch those down. Step 6: Fold the entire piece in half lengthwise, with your right sides together. Line up the raw edges, and stitch shut with a 1/2" seam allowance.
Step 7: Turn Right side out. Sew the entire length again, 1.5" away from the edge, creating a channel for your elastic.

Step 8: Grab some 1" elastic and wrap it around your trash can and adjust it until you have it to the perfect snugness level. You want it good and tight so that it will hold the bag nicely, but you don't want to have to wrangle with it too much every time you want to change the bag. I'll leave that judgement call up to you. Add 1/2" and cut your elastic.

Step 9: Thread the elastic through the channel, leaving the ends sticking out both sides. Overlap the one side of the elastic over the other and zig-zag them together.

Step 10: Slide the elastic into the channel until your zig-zag stitches are completely concealed. Stitch the elastic to the fabric on one side only - you want the other side to be able to slide freely in and out. This will make the whole thing much simpler when you're changing trash bags.

Step 11: Attach to your garbage can, and place the seam edge in the back.

Step 12: Ta-Da! You're done. Revel in the awesomeness of the scrunchy.

Next up, on the whole coffee table / tv situation. People want to know how you "pop a top off" a coffee table. My approach involved turning my table upside down and then commencing to unscrew all visible screws. Eventually it came off. Very technical advice, no? You can tell I have some serious carpentry expertise. The other big issue on people's minds is where we put the cords. Quite honestly, if you have your tv on all the time then the whole coffee table solution won't really be a solution for you. When we want to watch something, we open up the table and plug it in. When not in use I just wind the cord once around the tv mount and that's enough to keep the cord out of sight and not dangling. I also stuck some adhesive velcro onto the remote and it sticks up right next to the tv. I love that - we haven't yet misplaced the remote which is kind of a miracle really.

It's that time again . . .

2011-10-26T18:10:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I forget that costumery needs will arise in October. Actually, I forget every single year except for the first year I was a mother and I sewed a skunk costume for my five month old son. The rest of the years I find myself at around 4:00 on the day of the Fall Carnival, casting about in closets, digging out strange scarves and clip-on earrings, and trying to convince the children that this will, in fact, look really good.

This is what happened a couple years ago. I only just found these photos and I had completely forgotten that this ever occurred. There I was, needing to come up with five costumes on the spur of the moment. I called in the big guns - otherwise known as my sister Liz. Together we whizzed up this hairdo for Marie Antoinette here . . . as I recall we actually stuffed it with stuffing, smoothed the hair around it, and then hosed it down with hairspray and dusted it with cornstarch. Or possibly baby powder. I forget. My daughter saw these pictures just now and said, "Wow - I remember a REALLY long shower after that night."

We figured that with enough pink netting tied on in random places and a good bit of sparkly jewelry we'd have a satisfied customer.

Then there was Cleopatra. Much easier. A necklace swagged around her hair and a ton of eye makeup - she was good to go.

And you have to admit that with this profile she was really a natural.

Then there was Annie Oakley here. She was the easiest of the lot. Dad's hat and Mom's bandana and she was completely happy.

On the other hand, it now occurs to me that thinking ahead this year may be a wise idea. Unfortunately, I happen to know that won't actually think ahead, and this weekend will find me just as much up a creek as I always am . . . only more so, since every year the list of things we've already done gets longer and longer. At the moment I am spang out of ideas. Hopefully inspiration will strike.

Lantern Extravaganza

2011-10-21T11:02:00.000-07:00

Have I mentioned these lately? They're incredibly satisfying to make actually, and really quite easy. I do love a sewing project that requires quirky supplies . . . but only when those quirky supplies are cheap. These lanterns are really cheap. You don't have to invest in a specialized, computerized, die-cutting, sticker-making, frosting-printing, sculpting machine and a lot of replacement cartridges. You need a punching balloon and some electrical wire from the hardware store. Incidentally, have you ever glanced through the electrical wire options in your local hardware store? The stuff comes in the most awesome colors. I love it. I need to think up some more uses for the stuff in my daily life. I'd really like to have an excuse to have spools of splendidly colored electrical wire sitting in my studio next to my spools of rick rack. I could get into that.

Anyhow, the point is that these are a fun project. To tell you the honest truth, I was excessively pompous when I finally figured out how to make these. I was very determined because I wanted to hang them over my girls' beds for reading lights, and so I kept cranking out more and more of them and they just continued to flop in a rather spectacular way. Eventually I landed on a winning technique, and like I said, I was pompous about it. Smug. If you need a little shot of smugness in your life, or if you have plenty of smugness already but you need an awesomely festive lantern, you can order the pattern here.

(I should clarify something. These lantern shades fit straight onto a hanging light kit - they hook on over the lightbulb. You don't have to buy a separate frame - the pattern includes full directions for the whole thing.)

Coming Soon!

2011-10-17T16:10:00.000-07:00

In other spicy news, I have a few sporty new fabric prints releasing in January! And they coordinate awfully well with all of the current England Swings fabrics. How fortuitous is that? Almost as if I had planned it or something. Can't wait to get my hands on the actual yardage! This particular print is destined for some cafe curtains in my breakfast nook I think . . . and it looks awfully splashy with the blue spotty print. Also with the red starburst print. And, well, as a matter of fact it looks pretty cute with them all - even the other new ones that I'm not showing yet!

In the meantime, I've started thinking about Christmas dresses for my girls. As it turns out, there are a whole host of my fabrics that would work awesomely well for Christmas. For instance, how deluxe would it be to make a full, floor-length skirt out of this red butcher stripe . . . with an underskirt (lining) of white taffeta peeking out the bottom so that the skirt has a suitably "Christmasy" rustle when it moves. And it should definitely have a wide waistband with the stripes running horizontally around . . . then some deep, on-seam, side pockets. Are you with me here? I think that with a glitzy white top (white sequin trim on a plain white tee?) and maybe a little white fur shrug . . . that would honestly be just about the most fabulous, pepperminty Christmas dress of all time. I'm thinking for my eleven year old - but it would totally cute on a tiny person as well.

So now at least I've got one outfit planned. The trouble is that I have three girls . . . I'm wondering if I should do three separate designs but all in the red stripe - or if I should just go with three different red prints. Maybe the same skirt, different fabric? Or possibly just three totally separate dresses. We'll see!

Stock Market Tip

2011-10-14T17:30:00.000-07:00

Any of you out there have some spare cash sitting around the house that you've been thinking of investing in the English market? We have a hot tip for you. Orange cones. There is some serious money just waiting to be made in the orange cone scene in England. From this little snapshot I took last time I was there, you can see how they place the orange cones about 3" apart along the highway. We're not sure why, but this seems to be the standard cone procedure. Apparently to an English road crew, a cone barrier should be at least as dense as a picket fence. They maintain this placement for miles. And miles. And then some more miles for good measure.

This much I understand. It's funny, but I can be broad minded. To each his own cone placement. The thing that I feel takes it one notch too far is that frequently you'll find this level of cone-age along a stretch of road that has no work of any kind being done to it. A perfectly intact road will have 42 miles of solid cone barrier along the edge, breaking only at roundabouts. I think what's happened is that they have nowhere to store such enormous quantities of cones, and so they just stash them along various roadways. They probably have national quotas of how many cones have to be readily available and easily accessible in every shire. Sort of like fire hydrants. You just need to have them around in case you need them. Apparently.

Either way, cones are clearly a hot commodity. And since they seem to be stored year round exposed to the elements and just begging to run over, the cone casualty rate must be high. I'm just saying. Investment opportunity.

Silly, I know.

2011-10-12T18:12:00.000-07:00

Occasionally I do embarrassing things. My projects frequently take me by surprise, really they do. One moment I'm planning on getting caught up on the laundry, and suddenly I find myself painting a trash can instead.

But let me explain. There are reasons actually. It hit me like a thunderbolt today . . . why the heck do I have a miniature garbage can in my kitchen? Seriously. I have five children after all. We can and do generate a lot of trash. My poor long-suffering son takes it out every ten minutes throughout all his waking hours. And even then I usually have a horrible, despicable, abominable mess of a garbage can with 6 cereal boxes ballooning out the top, and then someone decides to scrape the spaghetti on top rather than inserting a new bag. And then it drools down the side of the can. And then noodles petrify to the floor behind it. It's truly evil. And you don't even want to know what the inside of the can looks like. Beneath the bag there lurks a festering . . . oh nevermind. It's too horrible. Today was my tipping point - don't ask me why. I had planned on doing other things.

But sometime after lunch something snapped. I popped to the hardware store and purchased a 30 gallon can. Definitely more our speed. That way maybe Knox can scale back to taking the trash out maybe only once a day. I don't know at what point it crossed my mind that it would be cuter if it was blue. I mean really. Obviously the thing can't fit under the sink - it's basically going to be the focal point of the room since it's so epically rhinormous. So why not blue? I already had the paint and a can of metal primer . . . which clearly seemed like guidance.

And then . . . well I should explain the fabric bit.
You know how the bag slips down inside the can? And then the spaghetti scrapers manage to fire the remnants of sauce straight down inside that gap? And then it turns black and nasty on the inside of the can? Here is my solution. (Shout out to my sister who I think was actually the originator of this idea . . . we were on the phone chatting about garbage woes while I was in the hardware store purchasing the can, and somewhere in the conversation this idea emerged.) A tight elastic band which cinches down over the bag, theoretically holding it clamped and impervious to the crazed spaghetti scrapers. The elastic is the key feature - the fabric is just for fun. (Sort of like a scrunchy. But never tell anyone I said that. Scrunchies make my "Top 10 Regrets from Junior High" list, along with wearing two pairs of colored socks and Keds with no laces. And this isn't actually "scrunchy" - it's nice and streamlined and flat.)

Before you all roll your eyes about getting the spaghetti all over the fabric, allow me to reassure you that this is the laminate version! Wahoo! Completely wipe-off-able.

(Update! Full instructions can be found here.)

Good Intentions . . .

2011-10-05T14:22:00.000-07:00

I know, I know. Much too early to post Christmasy pictures. It's barely October. The leaves haven't even turned, which means I'm in that happy window of time where I'm free of the guilt that comes with not having gotten the raking done. On the other hand, I have a whole mess of guilt concerning the ever-growing pile of flotsam and jetsam in my driveway that's destined for the dump. It's been there for weeks. And weeks. The neighbors must think that we're attempting to compost an old dresser and a broken chair. But I've drifted from my point, which is that I'm making personal resolutions to be organized about Christmas this year.

Years ago, my goal was to have all the "extra" people done and wrapped by Halloween (friends, co-workers, babysitters etc.), extended family and Christmas cards done by Thanksgiving, and then in theory that would leave December for just focusing on Ben and the kids. A few times it almost even worked. For the last few years though, I haven't even gotten far enough to think about being that organized. But here we are in October . . . which means there's still a chance.

So here's to good intentions, right? Just for fun I've whizzed up some gift labels - and I'm just throwing out the hot tip that these are CHEAP. Print some out and shove them in your closet next to your tissue paper and you'll thank yourself when the December wrapping frenzy rolls around.

Step 1: Grab yourself a pack of Avery shipping labels - 2"x4" 10 labels per sheet. (Should be under $5 for a pack of 100.)

Step 2: Click here for the PDF which you can then print out as often as you'd like and slap them on your presents with wild abandon.

Step 3: Feel smug that at least that's out of the way, and it's only October.

For my final, parting hot tip - look for poinsettias at the dollar store. They're generally horribly ugly as they come on the spray, but if you pop the blooms off they make for festive toppers on your packages. And you can't beat the price since they come in clumps of 8-10.

Stealth Coffee Table

2011-09-20T13:33:00.000-07:00

So in other news, I did another silly project lately. I saw the idea on pinterest, and it just made me happy.

I wanted to get Ben a tv for his birthday, but I didn't really want a big old tv hanging around in our living room. Our furniture is goofy enough as it is (we're still recovering from England and it may take another decade or two) . . . and the combination of random furniture and a big tv pretty much makes it clear that your priorities are oddly arranged. Really the only place to set a tv in our living room would be on top of the piano, and I draw the line there. So this is what we did:

The kids and I popped the top off our old coffee table, and my son installed the hinges for me. I painted it white, and we attached the tv to the inside of the lid. Ben presumably noticed that we had painted the coffee table, but had no idea that there was anything lurking inside. The kids made him a treasure hunt on his birthday, and it took him forever to figure out what on earth that last clue was talking about. Fun fun.

One time, earlier in our marriage, I bought the man a table saw for Christmas. I had no idea what to do with that box - the thing was enormous, and I was sure that he'd figure out what was in it. So I ended up wrapping the box and pushing it up against the wall in our dining room. I threw a long table cloth over it, and hung a mirror on the wall above it. I set a potted rosemary plant, a couple of candles, and a bowl of Christmas ornaments on top and he never even noticed. Seriously. Not once did he comment on the new piece of furniture in the dining room. I smirked for weeks leading up to Christmas. That time it was funny that he didn't pick up on it - this time he really couldn't have been expected to notice something inside the coffee table . . . it's not really that kind of coffee table.

September!

2011-09-09T14:10:00.000-07:00

You may or may not remember that a while back I was fussing about needing some artwork of some sort to hang on my dining room walls. There are some rather extensive sections in this room of nothing but sheetrock, and for months they've been crying out for a little bit of something to liven them up.

How hard can that be, right? Finding a picture to hang on the wall shouldn't be one of the most complicated jobs in life. But here's what inevitably goes wrong with my decorating plans. I get a picture in my head of what I want hanging there, and no matter how diligently I search the great wide interwebs, I cannot find a single painting that looks like what I imagined. So then I think, "Fine then. I'll just paint something myself." And of course, I never get around to it, and then we live with bare walls for months and months and months.

Well, last Saturday something snapped. I knew exactly what I wanted a picture of, what colors I wanted it to be, what size it had to be, and so I whizzed out to Joanns and purchased myself a little snatch of canvas, popped into Michaels and grabbed the stretcher bars and some turpentine, and came home determined to have this little sucker whipped out by the end of the day. Obviously, something had to give. You can't just do that kind of thing without cutting a corner or two or three along the line. In this instance, the thing that got sacrificed was a little something we like to call "detail." I walloped the paint on with wild abandon, and forgot to ever size down from the 1" brush.

It doesn't bear looking at too closely, but if you stand about 30 feet away and squint, you get the gist of what I was shooting for.
And so now I have a bit of color in my dining room. I'm excited enough about that part that I'm willing to stand 30 feet away and squint. Next up on my project list is curtains for this room.

I've settled on my "red whirligig" fabric, and I have two bolts of it sitting here, waiting for me to get around to it. As a matter of fact, I think I might be about to surprise myself with the kind of curtains I decide to make. I've had a settled aversion to valances for years and years, mainly because the word "valance" makes me think of those dusty blue balloon numbers from the '80s that featured geese wearing bonnets. And remember how they would be stuffed with tissue paper to help them keep that outrageous shape? They were always quite literally "dusty" blue - because no one ever remembers to climb up on the side table to dust off the tissue-paper-stuffed valance. I'm sure you can sympathize, right?

However, while I'm not absolutely sure about this, I suspect myself of being about to sew a valance, despite my strong feelings on this subject. We'll have to wait and see what happens.

Here 'tis!

2011-08-08T08:41:00.000-07:00

Hereyago . . . the official book trailer is now out and about on the great wide web. And, at the risk of being completely tedious, you should obviously go order the book now. (Oh - and you may have recognized Joel Courtney from Super 8 . . . there's an article about him and my brother over at Entertainment Weekly.)

Festive!

2011-08-04T11:37:00.000-07:00

So the latest issue of Studios Magazine has a feature on my studio space! I'm sitting in it at this very moment, (the room, not the magazine) feeling slightly hypocritical, and wishing that it looked as tidy as it does in the photos. Even as we speak I have an extremely large sheet of builders' foam propped against the wall, pattern proofs spread out over everything, and a big hunk of my fabric spread out on the floor. Oh and spray paint. And boxes of who knows what. Oh well. In a morbid sort of a way it reassures me that those magazine homes don't ALWAYS look like they do in the photos . . . but then again, perhaps they do, and I just happen to be the one flunky who can't manage to maintain a clean space for 13 minutes at a time! If you want a glimpse, click on this link and scroll down the table of contents. Or better yet, grab a copy for yourself - there are some seriously cute studios featured, and some great ideas!

Hint

2011-07-26T09:25:00.000-07:00

Ok, so you still can't see the finished project . . . that's coming though . . . but you can see my finished part of the project. Prop for the book trailer - and I totally want this hanging in my dining room from now on. Turned out pretty convincing don't you think? It's the neon that adds that authentic flair - and I didn't do that part. I designed and painted it - other more authentically professional people handled the cutting and the neon. Anyway - this fabulous photo was taken by Rob Sentz, one of the crew shooting the trailer. (Joel Courtney appears in it by the way.) Did I mention that you should order the book?

Project Tangent

2011-07-13T09:23:00.000-07:00

In one column of my life there are the things that I ought to be working on. And then there's this. I can't tell you what it is, because it's all very top secret and hush-hush for another couple weeks. Need a hint? My brother's new book, The Dragon's Tooth, comes out August 23. It's the first in the new series, Ashtown Burials. If you haven't pre-ordered your copy yet, you'd better do it now. It is seriously, seriously fun stuff. I read it aloud to the family as we drove to Boise a few months ago. (It pays to be N.D. Wilson's sister. You get the books ahead of time.) Anyhow, when we got to Boise we weren't finished with the book, so every time we got in the car for a couple days I would read aloud as we drove to Starbucks and whatnot. Then finally we couldn't stand it anymore - the plot was getting tense and we could no longer handle 10 minute snatches. All of us were deep in story grip, so we piled into the car and drove to Sun Valley and back, just so that we could finish the book. It was worth it. It was even worth driving all the way to Sun Valley and not even getting out of the car.

Anyway, this is me, yesterday, in Nate's front lawn. Painting something. Something awesome. I'll post the finished project in a couple weeks . . . and in the meantime, order your copy of the book!

Happy 4th!

2011-07-04T09:38:00.000-07:00

Pssst! Let's all pretend we don't notice how long it's been since we had a blog post around here. We'll just all look the other way and act completely oblivious to the painfully obvious fact that this is hideously overdue. Well done. You look totally uninterested.

First things first, I have some giveaways to announce!

The lantern pattern winner:
Sue!
Her comment was "So cute!"
She wins both the pattern, and the fabric of her choice to make it!

The garland pattern winner:
Garstabug!
Her comment was "So very cool! Love it! And I do believe I would in fact have it hanging year round in my little daughter's room. Bright, pretty and cheery - perfect thing to spruce up her bedroom. :)"

Right then. Both of you should drop me an email at: info@amoretti-designs.com to give me your shipping info.

While they're busy doing that, the rest of you may or may not have noticed the above coupon. From the 4th to the 6th, you can get 50% (yes, that's 50%) off of the lantern pattern, garland pattern, or pillow pattern! So there you go! Whoop it up!

In the meantime, I'm headed into the kitchen to teach my girls how to make pies. We're going to go set up a full-on pie boot camp in the kitchen. Their great-grandmother's family pie crust recipe is about to get passed on to the next generation. (It's a killer amazing pie crust - due, I believe, to the unprecedented amount of fat that it contains. But there's no arguing with this crust. Flaky, gorgeous, and amazing.) I also should possibly get off the computer and check on my son who is outside lighting things on fire. Experimenting you know. What happens when you light up a Snap-n-Pop? All in the interests of science of course. Remind me sometime to tell you about my husband and brother's similar experiment one year constructing (out of Snap-n-Pops) the "Burrito of Death". On the other hand, this reminds me that I should get off the computer right this instant and go get a visual on what's happening in the back yard.

Happy 4th!

Of Birthdays and Garlands

2011-05-24T21:52:00.000-07:00

So anyways, I'm about to have a teenager tomorrow. Yep. Knox is turning thirteen and there's no going back now! Look at this kid. Is he great or what? This is him in the Amsterdam flower market. I feel like he's pulling off the look quite well. Just the right amount of disinterestedness for a boy standing in the Amsterdam flower market.

And while I'm on the subject, here we all are at The Hague.

I made Knox and Jemima jump up on this front step because I loved that front door and I wanted a picture of it. Then we found out that it's the front door of the crown prince! Turns out the crown prince has great taste in doors. And check this out:

This was in Utrecht in the cathedral cloisters. And can you spot my husband? Yes, he's the one under the pile of children. I love that picture - that's how he looked through most of Europe. Toting someone (or several someones) around, and making sure they all had a jolly time of it.

The reason I bring Holland into it (yes I have a reason) is that we had some lovely friends who invited us to come for a visit a few years ago. The day we arrived they happened to be celebrating a birthday - and they had the most awesome party garlands I have ever seen hanging up in their house, criss-crossing across their lovely TALL Dutch ceilings! I was most determined to bring some home with me, and they kindly took me to the store where they had gotten them. Gorgeous, gorgeous stuff, and I wanted to buy all of it.

Long story short, I came home with the awesome party garland and a number of other awesome party items as well. The only trouble with the garland is that it's tissue paper. And although we've gotten much use out of it, tissue paper is only so durable. It's a bit battered and tattered at this point with the vast number of Merkle birthdays that we have every year. And that, my chums, is why I translated it (rough translation, yes, but still recognizably the same thing) into fabric.

True story. And not just a true story - also a fun project! So why not another giveaway? Leave a comment to be entered, and link to get a second entry! (Winners for all the pattern giveaways will be announced on June 5 when the patterns should be ready to ship!)

FFA: Future Flower Arrangers?

2011-05-22T17:11:00.001-07:00

I absolutely love this arrangement that is on my table at the moment. I sent my girls out into the yard to gather up some tulips, and this is the result. A complete lack of leaves gives it a surprising twist don't you think? And I adore the hilarious incongruity of the teeny weeny tulips placed confidently in there with the huge flashy ones. It makes it look entirely intentional.

And how 'bout that tablecloth, eh? Ok, so it's not a tablecloth yet. I threw some of my fabric over the table to see if I wanted a tablecloth out of it, and the answer is a resounding yes. I do indeed want a tablecloth out of it. I will file that under the "coming soon" portion of my life.

Presenting . . .

2011-05-19T06:57:00.000-07:00

Hello, hello, hello! You'll never believe this, but I am actually showing up upon my own blog. Who'd have thunk? I know it's been for stinkin' ever since I posted anything, but that's because I've been up to my eyeballs in projects. Not just my own projects either. Last week I was frantically getting ready for Market, and at the very same moment I had five children doing their big end-of-the-school-year-it's-Grandparents-Day enormous projects. One son was whipping up framed drawings of Martin Luther, a daughter was concocting a mosaic of Cleopatra out of split peas and lentils and black beans, yet another was making a shadow box of a southern plantation, another was crafting up a model of Cataldo Mission out of foamcore, and Judah just hung around and tried to think of a way to trap owls. (Inspired, I think, by the owl poem he had to memorize.) Our house is under a thick blanket of those little glue gun strings and split peas.

But in other news, my fabrics are now officially available! How completely festive is that?! If you want to order some right this very instant, there are several online retailers that already have it in stock and ready to ship - the Fat Quarter Shop for one, and Hancock's of Paduca for another. It should also be coming to a quilt store near you very shortly (even you people in Europe and Australia!) Make sure you put in special requests for it! I'll be selling it through Amoretti as well - just as soon as I have it in stock! (But you can pre-order it now if you'd like.)

This brings me to my next point, which is that there is a whole new category of products on Amoretti called Amoretti by ME. You most definitely need to pop on over and check this out - not only is the fabric available, but a new line of sewing patterns as well!

The lantern shade pattern (above) is seriously way too fun, and will be shipping June 5. This is a globe lantern made of fabric, and it attaches to any hanging light fixture. (Yes, the kind with a bulb - don't go running around lighting candles inside or anything.) It's seriously easy-peasy to make, but a very fun and quirky project. The shades are 13" in diameter, and no - you don't need a separate frame to put inside. The pattern includes all the instructions for the frame, and I promise that you don't have to be a welder to do it! Super, super simple. I made a big bouquet of these to hang in my booth at market, and now that I'm back they're getting moved into the girls bedroom as reading lights over their beds. (The boys want some too, but I'll have to find a different fabric for them. Judah is on a rhino kick at the moment - as well as owls - and I'm supposed to think of a way to involve a rhino on his.)

Now then. Here's the inside scoop. Until next Wednesday, you can pre-order the patterns for 20% off by using the coupon code debut party. So snap into it and get some ordered!

I'm also (in honor of this festive occasion) going to be offering a little spree of giveaways! The first one will be for the lantern pattern and the fabric of your choice to make it! You know the drill - leave a comment to be entered, and link to it to receive a second entry.

Keep checking back for more pattern giveaways - and in the meantime, go use that coupon code! I will now excuse myself to pick split peas off the bottom of my socks and glue strings out of my eyelashes.

Who has more fun than people?

2011-05-03T20:33:00.000-07:00

So our house is being remodeled. Not through any random desire on our part for an upgrade, but because a rhinormous tree fell on our house in November and smashed the roof in. One thing led to another, and right now, even as we speak, my bed is in the living room. Yes. Right spang out there in the middle of things. The house is full of workers at all times, and luckily for us, they're great guys. However, this is what I spotted out the window the other day. One of our trusty workers experimenting with the drywall stilts.

It lends a whole new meaning to Skate or Die. This next one could simply be labeled, "Die."

Inside the house is a whole different level of chaos. Not merely the aforementioned bed in the living room, the air compressor in the bathroom, the pile of boxes in the entryway that had to be moved out of the upstairs for the work to get done, or the quickset cement drying in the upstairs soon-to-be-gorgeous studio. I myself am contributing to the drama by having a huge amount of silliness percolating along in between the mess, creating an equally weighty mess of it's own. I'm getting ready for market next week in Salt Lake City, and this involves a vast amount of interfacing and piping and wire (yes, wire) and scissors and fabric stiffener and styrofoam and staple guns. It's going to be quite unbelievably festive and I can't wait to show you pictures. But meanwhile, I'm merrily sewing right over the top of all the other mess. Note the laundry drifting out the arm of the chair and the shoes and things everywhere.

Seriously though. How cute is this?

Easter Basket Stuffers!

2011-03-29T20:13:00.000-07:00

I'm sure you know someone who needs one of these! I love this kit . . . because it's easy enough for a little girl to do the sewing, but a cute enough end product for an adult (like me) to carry. It has a fun super-slim envelope styling, and lots of attitude! The kit includes fabric, lining fabric, interfacing, ribbon, chain, snap, and instructions. Finished dimensions of the purse are 5.5" x 8.5" with a 24" chain.

We have a limited supply of these at the moment . . . so if you want one of these for an Easter basket stuffer, now's your chance!

Progress!

2011-03-22T17:13:00.000-07:00

How festive is this?! Quite the improvement in the last week! (And my idea for the light is turning out splendidly, but only to the eye of faith so I'm not posting pictures of that yet.) And I was awfully pleased to dig out some of my funky white pottery that I collected in England to put in that terrific little built-in.

I grabbed these at charity sales and antique stores and ebay for a quid or two a piece, and none of them are priceless, but they make me happy. Even that ridiculously bilious planter on the middle shelf, but especially my "Frank Cooper's Oxford Marmalade" crocks. And of course the meat paste pots.

Most of the funny stuff that I brought back from England I bought at Nettlebed Manor (how fabulous a name is Nettlebed?!) at a charity sale that happened every three weeks. I miss it like the dickens. It's like a giant yardsale . . . but the yardsale is here:

Seriously. The sale is all through the grounds - in sheds and outbuildings and so on. One is devoted to books, one to curtains, etc. Not only that - Nettlebed Manor was the home of Ian Fleming. Really. Of James Bond fame. So how could you not love a charity sale where you get to rummage around at Fleming's old house and come home with an awesome piece of crockery that you bought for a pound? Look at these grounds:

The fact that I purchased it in this setting makes me feel that my goofy bilious planter is actually quite a bit more refined than it looks.

Back in my comfort zone

2011-03-12T00:56:00.000-08:00

Fun, fun, fun! Our dining room is being re-done, and I LOVE watching the progress! I can't believe I managed to not take a "before" picture . . . but at least I got it at this phase. Today they start sanding and painting and hanging the trim back up. I can't wait to see how my color picks will turn out . . . and I'm debating which of my fabrics I'll use to make curtains (once I actually have them in hand!) I also have the awesomest idea ever for the lights - I'll post some pictures of that project as soon as I get it underway. Tomorrow maybe. And I have to rack my brain about what I want to hang on the walls . . . I'm not having a real vibe about that yet. I might have to wait and see what the room looks like painted first. Anyone seen any stunning paintings lately? You can't see them in this picture, but I have three rather large stretches of wall in this room that will need something. Hhmmm.

Oh crumb.

2011-03-11T17:25:00.000-08:00

After months of trying not to think about it, tonight is about to happen. I rashly agreed to play the piano for two songs in a classic rock concert . . . a benefit for the school our kids attend. My comfort zone is now officially so far away that you can't see it with a spyglass. I like playing the piano, yes. I like these songs, yes. But my issue is that I don't play the piano in front of people. It's completely foreign to my policy. It's not my thing. I always hated recitals, talent shows, and anything else in that genre.

On the other hand though, I came home from sound checks this afternoon and this is what I found:

Seriously now. How sweet is this? My girls made the bed for me (shhh - don't tell that I left it unmade!) and put that fabulously sweet little array of notes on top!

And some money too! They are seriously way too sweet.

Anyway - now I have to go dry my hair and rummage up something to wear before heading out to very likely make a fool of myself. I may or may not hit about 22% of the correct notes. Thankfully my two songs are the first two - Sweet Home Alabama and Against the Wind - so once I get through those I can kick back and enjoy the rest of the concert! It promises to be loads of fun - and if you feel like it you can even tune in to the live webcast here. Concert starts at 7:00 pacific time. (And of course, you realize that I am sacrificing my comfort here to raise money for a fabulous school . . . so if you feel like donating then it will help me feel that my agony was not in vain!)

And the winner is . . .

2011-02-15T19:50:00.000-08:00

Kathy!

Her comment was:

I would so love to have this! I saw a sign in the fabric store that I was in today that said "Keep Calm and Sew On"! That would be the perfect iPhone cover for some of us!

So congratulations to Kathy, and drop me an email at info@amoretti-designs.com with your iphone specs and mailing address!

Wahoo!

2011-02-01T16:12:00.000-08:00

Ok then . . . the moment has come to officially trot the show-poodle into the ring! (Well, ok, not quite. But the poodle is definitely sticking his nose around the backstage curtain and will be trotted out pretty soon.)

You may or may not remember that I mentioned a while back that I had a fabric line about to spring loose upon the quilting public. And as it turns out, that was no idle jest. The fabrics are in production as we speak . . . and they'll be debuting at the International Quilt Market in Salt Lake City this May!

I have the strike-offs here in a pile next to me . . . and I have to tell you in perfect frankness that I can not wait to get my hands on the actual yardage. Here's a little glimpse of what's coming . . . but there are 18 (count 'em, EIGHTEEN) prints in the collection!

I'm also working on a line of sewing patterns which will splash forth at the same time, and I'll be honest . . . they're pretty festive. Further bulletins as events warrant!

A yodel into the void

2011-01-26T16:07:00.000-08:00

I would like to take a brief moment to congratulate myself on the shrewd forethought I displayed in not having the date show up on my blog posts. It has, as a matter of fact, been a heinously long time since I posted anything . . . but no one can tell that because they can't see the date. That makes me feel better.

On the other hand, the fact that this has essentially become the blog of a Trappist monk of late means that it's quite likely that no one is listening anymore. Who, after all, listens to Trappist monks?

So. In an effort to find out if there is anyone still out there, I am throwing out a little yodel into the void. A little yodel offering a giveaway. (Can you even believe it?! The Fortnightly Purse is back after a hiatus of indeterminate length. Indeterminate, I would like to once again point out, because of my effective scheme that involves not dating the posts.)

Now then. How's this for awesome? Would you, or would you not, adore to have this fantabulous little iphone cover? (Just the cover I'm afraid. You'll have to round up an iphone from somewhere to put inside it.)

"But what does it mean?" I can hear you asking. Carry on what? Wherefore?

I'm glad you asked. Here is a very complete and official bit of information about the design that I callously swiped off the internet so that I wouldn't have to write it all out myself:

Seriously now. How nifty is this? Last time I was in Oxford, the shops were all full of "Keep Calm and Carry On" everything. Mugs, t-shirts, tea towels, rugs, posters, you name it. Then of course, there were the ever-so-witty alternative signs that say things like, "Now Panic and Freak Out."

Anyhow, here it is . . . looking glorious (and quintessentially British) on an iphone. And you obviously need one. Whoever wins can tell me which version of iphone you'd like a cover for. And if the winner doesn't have an iphone . . . I'll send you the tea towel. How's that? Incidentally, this is a hard shell, snap-on cover, not a gel skin or a sticker. And it's completely fab.

So leave a comment . . . and don't forget that if you link you get a second entry!

The County Fair Syndrome

2010-09-18T16:55:00.000-07:00

So we cruised on down to the county fair last night. And if the county fair won't launch you into a bit of philosophical contemplation on human nature, nothing will. To begin with, there's the crowd. That's disturbing in itself. In a small town like ours, you find that you know half the people there . . . and the other half appear to have crawled out of the woodwork somewhere, wearing their faded Budweiser pajama pants. Ok, that's an exaggeration. Not everyone is in pajama pants. There is also a serious contingent of girls who are decked out in their clubbing outfits, have put on their smoky evening eyes, and are glamorously accessorizing with humongous cubes of curly fries and foot-long hot dogs.

And everyone is behaving in a perfectly inexplicable manner, yourself included. You start off the evening by feeding the children what practically amounts to fried sugar cubes, and then you egg them on to get into wildly dangerous contraptions and spin around until they throw up. Yes. Two separate Merkles threw up. Up 100% from last year. In fact, we were used as a cautionary tale by a number of fathers in the crowd who were pointing at the doubled-over Merkle children, saying, "You see that? That's what will happen to you if you try to go on the Gravitron."

The thing I kept coming back to in my mind last night, as I watched my children catapulting through the air, is that the people who operate those rides (dangerously disturbed and obviously hopped-up on something) are also the same people who unloaded those rides off the trucks and assembled them. And you gotta wonder to yourself if they were quite as hopped-up while they were tightening all those bolts and ticking the boxes on their safety checklists.

And then there's the other thing. The lightbulbs. Have you ever noticed how many lightbulbs are burnt out on those rides? Seriously it must be 72% of them are completely defunct and belly-up. And again you find yourself wondering if perhaps that doesn't argue well for the standard of maintenance on these machines.

And yet, in spite of it all, there are hundreds of parents who, like us, are standing around letting their children get on these things. Parents who, in the ordinary course of life, are reasonably responsible people, and spend all day, every day, saying things like, "Tie your shoes or you'll trip. Don't run with scissors. No, you may not hang out the window while we drive. Wear your bike helmet. Don't jump off of that. Don't put that in your nose." But somehow, we turn it all off once a year and throw caution utterly to the four winds.

And I confidently expect to find myself next year about this time, thoughtfully munching an elephant ear and having another little think about what on earth has gotten into me.

Tryin out the new gun

2010-09-11T21:09:00.000-07:00

Yes. It's his. What can I say? Knox is now old enough to get his first hunting license and deer tag, and he passed his hunter's safety course . . . so of course Grandpa went out and bought him a rifle. I have no idea what on earth I'm going to do if he actually hits something this hunting season. Give Grandpa Gary the stink-eye, probably, and then google up some venison recipes. I should probably be getting myself spiritually prepared right now, just in case he turns out to be a modern Hawkeye.

Rule Britannia

2010-09-04T14:09:00.000-07:00

There are times, believe it or not, when I get the feeling that my life could use a bit more union jack. Every so often I just start feeling strangely compelled to slap British flags onto things. Last year it was lunch boxes, and at the current moment I'm sketching up plans for a super cute sewing pattern which hopefully will soon emerge from the welter on my desk and solidify into an "Amoretti by Me" kit available on the website.

There's something so symmetrical and perfect about the union jack. From a design standpoint it just works so splendidly well on practically anything. You know? I, for one, would totally wear these:

(When I'm back in Oxford next I may well snag them actually. You never know when your outfit might not need these to finish it off.) Also, it might be good to satisfy my little union jack fixation with something more affordable than this:

Although there's something fairly awesome about this stove, at £5,000 I'd probably have to a little more devoted to the union jack than I actually am. As in, I might have to be a British subject to pull this one off. An American girl sporting this stove might be a bit sad.

However, I would absolutely put this in my boys' bedroom:

Love, love, love, love this sofa. If only I had a spare chesterfield that needed recovering I would do this in a heartbeat. Come to think of it - I actually did have a spare chesterfield that needed recovering and I ditched it. Dang. It was exactly this couch, but in old tattery leather that a cat had used at one time to sharpen its claws . . . I bought it at a yard sale, and then I got sick of it and sold it in a yard sale years ago. Crumb. Wouldn't that make a great reading couch in a boys' bedroom?

Then there's the ottoman idea. One of our favorite tailor shops in England, Hackett, had this exact ottoman sitting in the fitting room and I was envious every time I saw it.

Clearly you'd have to pick either the sofa or the ottoman though . . . you can only have so many pieces of furniture upholstered in foreign flags in one house. You could always go with a chair though . . . this one is pretty sporty:

I don't know . . . but I think that maybe I'd better just finish up this pattern to try to get this whole union jack thing out of my system!

Here We Go Again!

2010-08-24T15:02:00.000-07:00

So after insane amounts of unpreparedness on my part we have officially succeeded in launching everyone out the door to school again! This year we cover pert' near the entire elementary with kindergarten, 2nd grade, 4th grade, 5th grade, and 6th grade. If we include cousins, then the count gets even crazier. There's a cousin in 10th, in 8th, in 3rd, in 2nd, two in 1st, and one in pre-school. I mean really. How much fun is that?

Don't they all look so festive in their dress-day uniforms? And did I mention how pleased I was by all the breakfast recipes?! I've been branching out the last couple days with great results!

On the other hand, you should see my house. Total devastation at the moment. I'm still unpacking . . . still discovering all the things I neglected to save when we moved to England. Things like silverware. So on that note, I will sign off and go attempt to clean up my little mess and figure out a fun after-school snack!

Merkles on the Move

2010-08-04T17:07:00.000-07:00

Phew! So guess what we just up and did? We moved! Quite unexpectedly actually. All in one fell swoop we switched houses. The bad news is that I'm dead tired and I haven't even sort of started trying to unpack the upstairs. The good news is that I love, love, love the new place! It's got all the awesomely funny features of an old house, and the one I'm especially pleased with (besides the crazily huge wrap-around porch and the fact that the house contains two staircases) is the wallpaper. I'm not sure how it survived all these years, but we now have the most fabulous vintage wallpaper in several rooms.

Seriously now. Is that not the coolest thing you ever saw? Every time I see it I think of the old house in Paris all covered with vines. (Please tell me you catch that allusion.)

This is the wallpaper from the entryway, which also contains a terrific old chandelier.

I spent ages trying to clean it the other day . . . when I clearly should have been doing more important things like unpacking boxes. But it's so fun and sparkly now, and so definitely deluxe next to that sporty wallpaper.

If you enter through the front door and manage to tear yourself away from looking at the wallpaper and actually go through the next door, you find yourself in a huge (and I mean huge) foyer which contains the front staircase . . . quite a grand staircase with bright red carpet.

And the wallpaper in the foyer is even more fab than the entryway. Here ya go:

Come on now. How spiffy is that?! Let's get a closer shot of some of those little people, shall we?

Here we have the stylish woman with the parasol out walking her dog. She looks contented enough with her life. But how about this guy?

He looks like he's stomping home in a huff about something. He's our little man with the secret sorrow.

But whatever is afflicting him is not affecting the happy bicyclist:

Are those not just super deluxe?

Anyway, now you can (hopefully!) see why it's taken me so absurdly long to post the winner of the breakfast recipe challenge! When I posted that up I didn't have a thought in my mind about moving . . . and now look at me. Spending all my time analyzing the moods of wallpaper people.

However. I am now pulling myself together and announcing the winner! I am terribly impressed with all those recipes - they all look amazing! I am patting myself smugly on the back for thinking of asking you . . . you were definitely the crowd the check in with on this topic. And, due to the fact that there is no way I could ever pick a "best" entry - they seriously all look crazy good - I just did the standard random number generator. And the winner is Tracey in Alabama with her entry of baked sausage and grits! So Tracey - email me at info@amoretti-designs.com and let me know your address and your 8 old will get a festive little Tintin book in the mail!

Slipper Fun!

2010-07-21T10:45:00.000-07:00

So here's my latest little project . . . slippers for my girls! Is that festive or what? I still have a tiny bit of tweaking left to do on the pattern, but overall they're a major sensation with the girls who have declared them to be "super cozy." I went with a felt sole (inner and outer) which is massively reinforced to make them nice and stiff, and then I lined the cotton upper with fur to make them . . . well . . . super cozy. I'm going with some tiny dots of matching fabric paint on the sole to convert them to a non-skid surface and hopefully keep everyone from killing themselves. (Although I have to admit that the crazy sliding in the hall does look like fun.)

Now. Are you dying to know about that gorgeous fabric?! Well I'll tell you. It's part of the latest collection from Alice Kennedy, a designer for Timeless Treasures.

This brings me to my next very important point, which is . . . (twiddly bit of trumpet fanfare) . . . guess who is also going to be a designer for Timeless? Yes! Little old me!

So here's the deal. I have a line of fabric with them which will be going to market next May . . . after which point you should be able to find them at your friendly neighborhood quilt shop.

The other fun bit of news is that I will also be unleashing upon the unsuspecting public a line of sewing patterns! How fun is that?! And of course it's all very secretive until May and I'm not going to spill the beans and show you the fabric designs or sewing patterns. You're just going to have wile away the months anxiously guessing what they might be. The only hint I will give you is that they're cute. Killer cute actually. And now I'm off to tweak the slipper pattern and try out a very fabulous embellishment idea that I'm quite convinced is going to be superb. (But on the other hand, I am currently babysitting four of my sisters' five kids which means I have nine children in the house under the age of twelve and it's quite possible that I will not actually reach the stage of trying out embellishments on slippers. I might just spend the next hour mass producing PBJs. We'll see how it goes.)

Penguin Festival

2010-07-16T09:48:00.000-07:00

Birthdays. They always sneak up on me. It's horrible really . . . I'll know it's coming, but then all of a sudden here it is and I haven't prepared. The day before the birthday I'll come to my senses and remember to find out what kind of birthday cake is requested. Inevitably it will be something totally unheard of . . . and this week it was a "Penguin Cake."

Oh great. A penguin cake. Luckily I have a sister who is prepared for any and all emergencies of this kind . . . and she loaned me her copy of Hello Cupcake.

We whizzed up a batch of these penguin cupcakes, and what should have been a very easy little project was make ridiculously harder due to my unpreparedness.

It's supposed to be a simple procedure involving cupcakes, mini donuts, donut holes, a tub of frosting and some Laffy Taffy. But of course I was doing this in the late afternoon on the day of the actual birthday while I was also trying to cook the birthday dinner, I had forgotten to buy a cake mix and thus had to make the cupcakes from scratch, the mini donuts turned out to be the wrong size, and there were no donut holes at the store. The heads then had to be whittled out of marshmallows and the poor old penguins turned out to have extraordinarily lumpy physiques and some seriously bizarro expressions.

But the lovely thing about kids is that they absolutely don't care about the realism factor. They were thrilled to eat a penguin cupcake, even if it did look like an out-of-shape juvenile delinquent penguin. And I had managed to crank out enough for all 15 cousins and a few of the aunts and uncles, so life was good!

Recipe Contest! (Tintin Prize)

2010-07-08T13:20:00.001-07:00

May I just say that I am love, love, LOVING reading all your recipes?!?! I'm totally procrastinating on the giveaway because I don't want to discourage anyone else from contributing . . . . so I'll give it another day or two before I announce the winner!Alright, I'll admit that this is a bit random. The contest and the prize have very little in common. But I'm looking for some good breakfast recipes - and I need to take a very brief moment to say how much I adore Tintin. Why not put the two things together?

If you've never read a Tintin book you haven't lived. How accurate this is I'm not entirely sure - but I've heard that Tintin was the original inspiration for Indiana Jones . . . and it certainly has the same sort of feel. Lost civilizations, hidden treasure, ancient religions, everything you could ask for in a story! (Herge was a Belgian, and so these books are all in translation.)

Dreadfully educational too. When we took the kids to Geneva, Knox (who was eight at the time) casually mentioned that he'd love to see the Hotel Cornavin, because that's where Professor Calculus always stayed when he was in Geneva. We told him, in that patronizing way parents have, that Tintin was made up - there probably wasn't a Hotel Cornavin. But, sure enough, Knox spotted the hotel there in city center and so of course we had to go see it and take a quick picture. But still. I was impressed. My eight year old knew a central hotel in Geneva!
On the other hand, Tintin was also responsible for some weird, quirky, Merkle family vocab. Several years ago, my children began to say that they were "friendly locals." And they said it in the most incongruous settings. For instance, I would give one of them cranberries and cream and brown sugar on their porridge . . . and if the next child chose the same toppings they'd look at the first one and say, "Hey! We're friendly locals!" That obviously makes no sense at all . . . and I was puzzled about it for weeks. They always seemed to use it to mean, "we match." So if two people were wearing the same colored shirt, they were friendly locals.

Eventually, I figured it out. If you've ever read the books, you'll of course remember the bumbling detective twins - Thomson and Thompson. In one of the stories, they're dressed up in some goofy outfit (Chinese I think) for some undercover work. Tintin immediately spots them and says, "Hello Thomson and Thompson." They respond with, "We're not Thomson and Thompson. We're friendly locals." My kids took this to mean that they matched (because they're twins) and they used the phrase accordingly. I'm afraid it stuck - just this morning I told my daughter we were friendly locals because we had both made the same breakfast choice.

I hear that an actual Tintin movie is coming out . . . and I'm halfway excited and halfway dreading it. I hope to goodness they don't botch it.

Anyway - I'm going to do a random giveaway of a Tintin book . . . King Ottokar's Sceptre, which is one of my personal favorites. But the rules are a bit different this time:

I want to know what your best breakfast recipe is for feeding ridiculously hungry kids. My little brood seems to all be in a growth spurt at the same time . . . cereal doesn't fill them up unless they eat half a pallet of it, and who has the money or the space for that kind of large scale cereal consumption? Cooking 8 billion individual egg on toasts is rather impractical . . . so I'm looking for ideas here. Ideas for filling up 5 hungry kids and 1 hungry husband. I'm all ears! I know there are loads of you in this same situation - and I'll bet you've come up with lots of better ideas than I have.

So give me your recipes . . . and I'll pick a winner to get the Tintin book! And for everyone else - if you've never read a Tintin you should really truck straight on down to your nearest bookstore and purchase one. (Although they're a bit harder to come by in the States . . . your nearest bookstore might not have them. But Amazon will anyway.)

Good Heavens

2010-07-06T22:04:00.000-07:00

Looking at this blog you would think I had died! Not a word for over a month!

This whole blog situation is very deceiving actually. At least in my case, the more stagnant the blog, the more chaotic the life! It's when I don't have time to brush my hair that I also don't have time to sit down and chronicle this fact for the world!

And - I had computer troubles. Would you like to hear about it? No? Too bad for you because I'm telling you anyway. Several weeks ago, my big beautiful 24" iMac was just sitting there, minding it's own business, not harming a soul, when an equally beautiful but much more enormous picture frame spontaneously fell off the wall . . . and knocked the computer off the desk, sweeping the Nikon camera with it. The computer landed squarely on top of the camera and broke the screen! AAAHH! But, it could have been worse. It was just the glass that broke, and that's a relatively cheap fix. And now it's back, as beautiful as ever. (But the picture frame is sitting on the floor in disgrace.)

On the other hand . . . I just got back from England! And theoretically I was going to be able to post things from England, but of course the laptop power cord fritzed out almost as soon as we got there, leaving us without access the great wide web. Thus the silence.

By way of overview, Oxford was fantastic as always . . . and so fun to be back! We had to eat at Jamie Oliver's (of course) and the best Indian restaurant in the city, but we also managed to hit a Gordon Ramsey restaurant! I was very pleased about that one because we'd never done it before. And you'll be happy to hear that it was quite good.

The only place where I managed to take pictures though, was at one of our favorite French restaurants where Ben and I had dinner on our last night in Oxford. We sat in the tiny upstairs looking out over the rooftops and had a fantastic meal.

Now I'm off to bed - but I did actually come back home with a couple little items for the giveaway (believe it or not!) so stay tuned and I'll get that organized as soon as I unpack the suitcases. (Don't hold your breath though . . . sometimes that whole unpacking thing can take me months.)

13 Years!

2010-06-01T23:10:00.000-07:00

Wow! So yesterday was our 13th anniversary! Weird to think a child could have gone K-12 in that amount of time. Every year I always wonder if I can remember what we did for each anniversary, and it gets harder every time. Here goes my attempt this year. (Brace yourself. It's long, and very likely tedious.)

First Anniversary: I had just given birth to our first baby less than a week before. We left him for the first time while we ran out for dinner. I think we were gone for about 34 minutes, and we spent the entire time wondering if he was ok. Are you thinking that we look like a couple of kids who ought not to be allowed a driver's license yet? Yes. Me too.

Second Anniversary: We left him overnight for the first time - Ben surprised me with a stay at the B&B where we had gone on our honeymoon (an old convent converted to a B&B). He took me on his motorcycle this time. He had wanted to do that after the wedding, but then his dad loaned him his Porsche - so we saved the motorcycle ride for the anniversary trip! This was also the year where we realized that our anniversary sometimes falls on Memorial Day and then there are no fun restaurants open. Tomato Bros. was the best we could come up with.

Third Anniversary: Our second baby was not yet two months old. Our anniversary also fell over Memorial Day weekend this year, and we were planting our garden all day. Ben was overly optimistic and took his shirt off - and got wildly, outrageously sunburned. He then proceeded to have spastic itch attacks throughout the evening. It was so bad that I actually had to call for medical advice that night, and as I recall it had something to do with an oatmeal paste of some sort. Fun.

Fourth Anniversary: We had just purchased our first home, I was very big pregnant with our 3rd baby, and May 31 was the day we had to be all the way moved out of our rental with everything cleaned. We were not nearly there, and I remember being utterly exhausted and very stressed that we weren't going to make it. At about 6:00 Ben called it off, said he didn't care if we had to pay the extra fees for going overtime . . . he didn't want his pregnant wife to die on our anniversary. He made me (much against my rule-following nature) leave the mess, and he took me out for a very nice dinner. Also, just as an aside, we were not merely moving into a house. We were moving into a house that was the most outrageous disaster you can imagine. Not just a fixer-upper . . . more of a start-from-scratcher. We were desperately working to try to make it habitable before moving in. This involved, among many, many other things, chipping up the linoleum and refinishing the wood floor. In typical fashion, I decided that while we were at it I might as well stain a large and intricate pattern into the floor. Also I was pregnant as you recall, so I couldn't breathe the fumes. This made it tricky in many regards. We finished staining the floor on our son's 3rd birthday (the 25th,) and we were still polyurethaning on our anniversary as we were trying to clean the old place to move out. Want to see a picture of this absurd situation? Hereyago:

Yes. This was how our new house was looking that week. During this (obviously smooth) moment, I thought that the sensible thing to do would be some un-tested stain experimentation. Here's what we came up with.

And - just so you know that we did eventually finish the rest of the room . . . here's what it looked like about three children and nine million hours of work later. (Don't criticize the decorating - I hadn't gotten to that part yet. I was just happy to have some walls.)

Fifth Anniversary: This one was rather depressing. Ben had planned a very fun surprise - we were leaving the kids with the grandparents, and he had gotten a hotel in another city, reservations in a fun restaurant, and tickets to La Traviata. Then on the actual day of our anniversary, I came down with the worst case of mastitis that the world has yet seen - fever and everything - and we had to cancel! You definitely can't leave the baby overnight in that condition! We gave the opera tickets to Ben's mom and she went with a friend. I cried. But then I think we went out for dinner and that was fun and I managed to not feel too sorry for myself.

Sixth Anniversary: We now had four kids, baby number four was 3 months old, and we were about to fly to England for the summer . . . our first time over there. My mother in law was coming with us, and so we drove down to Boise to pick her up and finish last minute supply-gathering for our trip. We were going to be driving back from Boise on our anniversary and getting ready to fly out . . . so Ben took me out early and told me that my gift this year was a trip to Paris! He had talked Granny into agreeing to stay with the older three kids in England while he and I and the baby flew to Paris for two nights! (Clearly no one was thinking very rationally.)

(Hero is quite proud that she's been in Paris one more time than the rest of the kids. And she's the only one who's been on top of the Arche de Triomphe.)

Seventh Anniversary: By this point we had all five kids. The oldest was six, the baby was seven months. Add that up and I'd been pregnant for most of our marriage. I didn't have any non-pregnant clothes. We were in Boise again, and Ben sent me out clothes shopping and then took me to dinner. No one was sick, no one was sunburned, we weren't moving, and it wasn't a day where everything was closed. Perfect!

Eighth Anniversary: Dang. I don't remember.

Ninth Anniversary: Ben found out he was accepted to Oxford! Life was about to spin out to utter craziness as we got ready to sell the house and move our brood across the ocean. And I don't remember what we did for our anniversary I'm afraid. Probably breathed into a paper bag.

Tenth Anniversary: Wrapping up our first year in Oxford, and we went to a gorgeous restaurant called Gee.

(And Ben gave me a beautiful antique necklace which I adore.)

Eleventh Anniversary: Second year in England down, and we celebrated at the Brasserie Blanc in Jericho. (Much cheaper than Le Manois Aux Quat' Saisons, but owned by the same guy so it makes us feel like we sort of were involved somehow with Michelin starred cuisine!)

Twelfth Anniversary: We were moving home again! Life was berserk! Too many times across the ocean with five kids and six thousand oversized suitcases! But we took a quick break and went to the Randolph Hotel for dinner. I had the most gorgeous risotto which absolutely haunts my memory. I wish to goodness I could remember what was in in. But alas. No luck. It was green - I remember that much.

(And, if you think that's our car just go ahead and keep thinking that.)

Thirteenth Anniversary: Whoops. Haven't done anything yet. We were driving home from Boise all day, and all the fun restaurants were closed because once more our anniversary managed to land squarely on Memorial Day. But at thirteen years you can handle that, you know? Our marriage is now tall enough to ride the scary roller coaster. Look out, cause you ain't seen nothin yet. I think we'll go somewhere tomorrow.

More Metal and Paint

2010-05-21T09:21:00.000-07:00

So here's another victim of my recent spray-paint-a-thon. Ben's grandmother was throwing this away, and asked him to lug it out of her bedroom and out to the curb for the garbage men. I quickly made the most of the situation, and asked him instead to lug it out to the back of our car.

It was a dreadful pasty brown when we brought it home . . . and I had a terrible time landing on a color to paint it. (Like I said, Krylon just has too many gorgeous options at the moment!) In the end I went with a compromise between my top two choices. The outside is blue, the inside is pink. The result is rather un-subtle.

And, may I take another moment to say that decal paper is something that no home should be without? I seriously adore the stuff. I popped the peony up on the outside just because it was feeling like a rather huge expanse of blue metal. We needed a little something to break up the monotony and take our minds off the fact that there are no labels in the label holders . . . for the plain and simple reason that I haven't decided yet what I'll keep in this very useful little unit.

The bottom drawer is currently holding some of my Amoretti patterns - but there's no way that all of them will fit in there. I'm thinking of turning it into the storage facility for fabric scraps - the ones that my girls are allowed to plunder. (As in, chuck them all in there in a wad, slam the drawer shut, and breath a sigh of relief that they're now out of sight.) Yes. Once I put it that way, it is clearly the most appealing option. I think I will definitely make this the official "rummage bin."

Gardening Weather!

2010-05-15T11:23:00.000-07:00

I've always loved Carl Larsson's paintings, but this one is so terribly cheery I had to pop it up. Those poppies are just deluxe, aren't they?

The lovely, lush garden is also very appealing at the moment, because the kids and I have been planting ours, and the up-to-the-minute news is that we are currently staring at a dirt plot and some torn seed packets. Today's the big day (in theory) for getting the rest of everything planted. (And I'm growing some rocket so I can make my favorite sandwich again!)

Both my boys were terribly determined to have watermelons and cantaloupes, and I am 112% certain that neither of those will work. Northern Idaho is not really known for its melon production, and I am not really known for my gardening expertise. However, undeterred by precedent, we are going to attempt the melons anyway. Anyone out there have any hot tips for me before I do the deed and shove those seeds in the dirt? This is my official casting call for gardening pros. I'm saving the melons for last . . . so somebody help me out here! I need any and all help I can rummage up! If no one has any advice for me then I am just going to sally forth and stick some seeds in the ground and let the chips fall where they may.

Anyone For Pimm's?

2010-05-11T13:53:00.000-07:00

Ok I admit it. I miss England right now. Don't get me wrong . . . I'm thrilled that I get to see my first Idaho spring in four years. The wheat is all coming up, and I get goosebumps every time we drive out and look at the gorgeous, rolling fields. When we were in England I missed that like crazy. But now . . . well, it's Trinity Term at Oxford which means a completely different kind of spring experience. I kinda wish we could just run down and take the family out in a punt on the Thames this evening, or go watch Daddy row in Summer Eights which was always a hoot.

This is Boat House Island, and it is always an utter madhouse during the races, and just as good for people-watching as it is for race-watching. (And note the Pimm's umbrella!)

I found this old image of what the crew of a Christ Church boat was wearing in 1848, and I'm afraid that that poor little whiffly chap on the end there doesn't look a bit like my husband, who is shown below rowing on the boat named "Henry VIII." (Also, and totally as an aside, I love it that he owns a pair of sweats that say "Christ Church" on them. In Oxford, that makes sense. Here in Moscow it has other connotations!)

I've gotten sidetracked and drifted off-topic. What I was actually trying to say was that Trinity term really means picnics, punts, and Pimm's.

If you look up the recipe for a Pimm's Classic, you'll find that it consists of 3 parts lemonade to 1 part Pimm's.

(This is a typical example of British / American translation difficulties that constantly arise in the kitchen. Lemonade to us is not lemonade to them and vice versa. The closest thing I know of to approximate their lemonade is to mix up a batch of our lemonade from concentrate and use club soda instead of water. )

Now that we've gotten that straightened out, we can start over again with the recipe:

Take a jug or glass, and fill with ice. Mix 1 part Pimm's No. 1 with 3 parts (British) lemonade. Add some mint, cucumber, orange, and strawberry.

There you go! The Pimm's classic. Now for my favorite-ever picnic sandwich.

1. Slice a baguette lengthwise.

2. Spread one half generously with Boursin cheese. (Yeah, I know. But it was actually cheap in England and we got addicted to it as a sandwich spread.)

3. Spread the other half with roasted red pepper pesto. (Also easy to find at a grocery store in England, but I can't find it here in Moscow. If you can buy it, more power to you. If you can't, the recipe follows.)

4. Pile on the best oven-roasted deli turkey you can find.

5. Add a layer of very thinly sliced tomatoes.

6. Sprinkle on some very thinly sliced red onion. (I like a lot on there, but make sure you slice it thinly!)

7. Pile on a layer of rocket. (Another translation moment: Rocket=Arugula. But I like calling it Rocket. If you can't find any, just use plain spring greens.)

8. Put the lid on your sandwich, and slice into manageable pieces.

For the Red Pepper Pesto:

8 oz roasted red bell peppers

5 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

1/2 tsp balsamic vinegar

1/2 cup fresh basil

5 Tbsp. Parmesan cheese

3 cloves garlic

2/3 c. roasted pine nuts

1/8 tsp. pepper

1/8 tsp. salt, or to taste

Whiz it all up in the food processor!

With some kettle-cooked potato chips and mallow tea-cakes to round it out, that is one fun picnic!

My $1 Splurge

2010-05-04T20:00:00.000-07:00

Seriously.

$1.00.

Can you believe it???

Just one of the reasons that you've got to just love a rummage sale.

Of course, when it was $1.00 it looked like this:

I've been on a serious kick lately, accumulating defunct old metal office furniture. One of those inexplicable fascinations. I have now racked up a collection which includes an assortment of those hilarious old metal bookends, an old metal classroom style garbage can, 1960s era metal paper sorters, an old metal file cabinet, an absolutely awesome old metal teacher's desk which is currently outside under a tarp awaiting it's spray paint, and a small metal lab table of some sort which has a crank on the underside to raise and lower the tabletop (perfect size for a girls' sewing table!) The common denominators here are "old" and "metal."

One of the motivating forces in effect in this whole situation is the Krylon spray paint aisle. Have you checked out the Krylon colors lately? Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous. On this chair I went with a plain old white because I was planning to get all zany on the fabric. And I have to say that I'm feeling a bit smug about the results.

First I ordered one yard of upholstery fabric to be digitally printed with one of my designs. But I really didn't want to have the chair immediately get all gungy and dirty, so I began trying to figure out a way to waterproof it somehow. In the end I went with iron-on vinyl. Essentially I created a very homemade oilcloth - and then upholstered the chair with it. It's a super easy and basic little chair, so all in all I only spent one afternoon on it including the painting. Which is good, because as pompous as I'm feeling about the vinyl, I'm very unsure as to how it will hold up. It's got a terrific gloss going at the moment, but it's quite likely that after sitting on it for a week the vinyl will be splitting and peeling off. This has yet to be determined. But it's such an easy little upholstery project I really won't mind if I have to go back to the drawing board on that part. I've got enough fabric left to do it again if I have to . . . and my next approach would be to try silicone spray. (Have any of you ever used that? Do you have any input? I've never tried it, but I'm feeling curious. Plus, my spray paint finger is seriously in shape now after all this metal, and is ready to take all comers.)

The Spilling of the Beans

2010-05-03T09:52:00.000-07:00

Wow! You all are absolutely amazing! I loved reading through those guesses! It's really a shame that there can only be one right answer . . . because all of those ideas were seriously deluxe. Many points were scored for originality!

The correct answer, I'm afraid, is GK Chesterton. I can't believe how many of you were on the absolute right track! Natali Monnette said it first though, so she wins the prize. Well done, Natali! (And email me at info@amoretti-designs.com and we'll arrange the shipping.)

Now then. I have to tell you about these pictures! Chesterton actually studied art at the Slade before turning to writing - and it was incredible to get to see some of his work. However, the part of the exhibition that I ADORED were these hilarious little characters. They weren't just sketches - they were puppets! They were all cut out, with sticks attached to the back. Apparently he had built a little stage and painted the backdrop - and then produced all these puppets. When children came to visit, he and his wife would do puppet shows to entertain them.

Unfortunately, the British Museum lost the stage. (Lost it! Can you imagine?! Criminal negligence is the only explanation!) All that's left is this collection of puppets - and no one knows what the stories were. They may have been lost along with the stage, but it's also possible that he never wrote any of them down. I spent ages looking at all these little hilarious characters and DYING to know what those stories were! There were furtive looking wood-cutters dressed in green . . . little dwarves with enormous noses . . . this incredible blue knight with his huge axe . . . a very small baby in a nightgown smoking a cigar (that's the one that my dad has hanging in his library) . . . a very stout vizier with his nose in the air marching pompously along with a grinning child holding up his train . . . a short, official looking man wearing a ruff, a top hat, and what looks like blue pajamas . . . noble looking knights in ships . . . a lady all in red holding a red cross shield above her head . . . it was just crazily frustrating to know nothing at all about them!

But the fact that I fortuitously managed to get copies of 6 of them eases the agony somewhat. My personal opinion is that good old ND Wilson should somehow manage to finagle the rights to the pictures, and then write the stories around them. Then we would all have the fun of a book by ND with illustrations by GK. (It would be the second time they - sort of - collaborated on something. Did you see his National Geographic special on that by the way?)

I've tried to use my pull as a sister to talk him into it, but he's busy doing lots of other very interesting things. Maybe I should, instead, launch an online petition that we could email to him. You'd all sign it, right?

Art Quiz! (With prize)

2010-04-28T21:22:00.000-07:00

Ok, people. I'm just curious about something . . . and I need you to help me out here. How many of you think you can guess the artist? Is it totally obvious? Sixteen minutes after I post this am I going to have three people with the right answer? Or is this a stumper of a question?

Here's the thing. I'm letting you in on a little secret. I feel rather protective of this fiercely mustachioed chap. Last year on our anniversary, my husband and I went to a tiny art gallery in England (no, I'm not saying what city) that was having an exhibition of this artist's work. The pieces on display were ones that had never been published, and they were truly amazing. Gorgeous, hilarious, witty, striking . . . all of them were fantastic, and we spent ages looking through everything.

The curator and I were talking, and she mentioned that she was going to scan the images before the exhibition left her gallery. I made a mental note, and several months later I called her and begged a favor. Could I buy some of the digital images from her? Incredibly, she said yes! (And, in fact, she had me make the check out to her favorite charity.) I assured her at the time that I wasn't going to sell these or anything, I would only make prints for personal use. I now have files for six of the images, and my father, brother, and sister all have framed copies hanging in their houses. And as far as I know, we are the only ones in the world who do.

So what I'm saying is, I feel very greedy about these files, and in what is no doubt a terrible case of natural depravity, I'm posting a cropped, very low-res image. Rude, yes. But somehow, due to the way I came by these things, I don't feel right putting them up online. What you're seeing here is only part of the picture.

However - I'm really genuinely curious how many people would recognize this particular artist right off the bat. So I'm firing up a contest . . . not the actual purse which I'm dreadfully delinquent on this time and I promise it will be up soon . . . but just a regular old contest.

The first person to correctly guess the artist will receive a frame-able print of this image, which for purposes of convenience we are calling the Fierce Blue Knight. And if that's not enough incentive to make you instantly give me your best guess . . . you will also receive a Skirty.

So there you go! Guess away! (And yes, I'll tell you the right answer!)

Hint: This is a name that you really should know - not an obscure person you've never heard of.

How fun is this?!

2010-04-16T12:40:00.000-07:00

So I just mentioned Uncle Nate . . . here he is on the Today Show this morning!

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Speaking of Rome . . .

2010-04-15T09:09:00.001-07:00

Ok, so no one was speaking of Rome. I just happened to be thinking about it because of a picture that came up on my screensaver. But first, do you remember the ridiculous novelist lady from Room With A View? (And allow me to take this moment to give Room With A View two solid thumbs down, due, among other things, to large quantities of philosophical hooey.) But she has an utterly hysterical quote that is one of my best. In a very dramatic way she tells an idea for one of her novels.

"A young, English girl . . . transfigured by Italy. And why should she not be transfigured? It happened to the Goths."

Really it's the incredible, overly dramatic self seriousness in the way she says it that makes it so priceless. (And if you don't remember, or didn't think it was funny, you can see what I'm saying here.) And I'm terribly afraid that her attitude is extremely typical of many people who travel to Italy. They become, in a word, transfiggered.

And as it turns out, we too were transfiggered. Except that ours resulted in a slightly different reaction than most. We became cynics. Would you like to see what my children think of Rome? Hmm? Would ya?

I love this picture. It sums it up. Reading between the lines, what this picture is saying loud and clear is, "Some Italians stole our stuff. We had to sleep in our clothes. We don't have any hairbrushes or toothbrushes and we smell really bad."

Here we have Judah. Ever since the notorious hotel heist, he frequently plays games that feature the evil "Natalians." There are dragons, there are pirates, and there are Natalians. They're not the good guys in his world. He looks like he's plotting his revenge already.

And Hero. She's not amused. She's not even going to pretend to be. The Sistine Chapel in no way compensates for the loss of all her clothing, and she doesn't care who knows it.

Bel is rocking the "I can't believe you people" look. She's got the eyes of someone who has just taken a long, hard look at the seedy underbelly of humanity.

Jemima is just confused. How could people act like this? How could they do this to us? How could they snitch my hairbrush in that callous way?

And then there's Knox. He's cool with it. He's an 11 year old boy, and sleeping in your clothes just saves on hassle. Plus, the food is deluxe, there's all sorts of pastry options in the hotel breakfast line, and the Sistine Chapel is great stuff!

OK, just kidding. They only have that expression because it was way past lunch, we had just walked about 8 miles zig-zagging all over the Vatican City, and we finally found somewhere to stop for a quick break. They weren't having a bad time at all, actually.

See? They're enjoying themselves. As a matter of fact, Rome turned out to be the highlight of the trip for the kids. You can't ask for more excitement than having all your worldly goods stolen in a foreign city. That's the part they'll remember forever. As we were walking past the Roman Forum, we stopped and Uncle Nate gave the kids a very dramatic re-telling of the founding of Rome. (The Forum, as legend has it, is where Romulus and Remus were suckled by the wolf.) So anyhow, as I'm sure you remember, the end of the story was that after Romulus murdered his brother, he sent out the word to all the thieves and murderers and thugs to come to his city. And they did. And it's been that way ever since. And I like to think that little life-lesson will give my children a good solid base to work from when they arrive at classical lit later in life.

It's Yardsale Season Again . . .

2010-04-13T19:51:00.000-07:00

. . . and you know what this means of course. It means that I will be irrationally compelled to purchase ridiculous things.

You know how it is, right? (Tell me I'm not the only one here.) Am I correct in assuming that you too would have snatched up this undeniably '70s plastic set of bowls?

You would have backed my decision, I'm sure. No doubt even as we speak you're kicking yourself for not attending the Methodist Mothers' charity sale at the fairgrounds and grabbing them first.

I wasn't exactly in the market for '70s plastic bowls of course. It's just that I happened across them and they seemed so cheerful, sitting there amidst a very terrible assortment of defunct Christmas lights and those awful, fleecy-backed, stained, plastic tablecloths. And obviously you can justify absolutely any purchase whatsoever when you're laying out less than a dollar. Caution, restraint, and prudent decision making may be thrown entirely to the wind. So I scooped them up, thinking that there was very likely going to be a need in the Merkle household for popcorn bowls. Or cereal bowls. Or something. Something that calls for an extremely glamorous set of '70s plastic.

I know, I know . . . you're thinking that they're not all that bad. However, before you hastily decide that I actually made a rather snazzy purchase, allow me to give you a glimpse of the back side of the big bowl.

It really is useless to delude ourselves about this. That flower there is most decidedly olive green. It is a color, I might add, that is definitely not found in nature and it somehow managed to spontaneously generate, hatch, live, and die all in the short span of the 1970s. This flower is exactly the kind that lives on rust colored bakeware, and orange crock pots. If brown tupperware pitchers (you know, the ones with the little button on the top of the lid) had best friends, this flower would be it. And you know, I'm awfully fond of the little thing. If I don't watch myself I may well find that I am the proud owner of a brown tupperware pitcher. You never can tell with yard sales.

Fun with Zazzle

2010-04-09T16:55:00.000-07:00

I have to come clean and admit it. I'm a total sucker for customization. Anything that could possibly be construed as a blank canvas gets me all excited as an opportunity to flare out and do something splashy to it. Don't get me wrong. There's many a tacky thing that can be done with customization . . . people frequently get carried away with the thrill of it all and do something atrocious. (Of course, I painted a piano blue so who am I to cast the first

stone?)

Just for the heck of it I decided to try out how my painting of a peony would look on a pair of deck shoes - and I have to tell you frankly that I'm feeling that they're kinda sporty. I'm not saying that I'm actually going to order these, but on the other hand I have established historical precedent on this "specialized shoe" question.

I did (yes I did) design wooden shoes to be made for my girls in Holland . . . and they are vastly more impractical than these are. So I just might splash out and see how these look in real life. I'm sure we'd put a lot more miles on the canvas option than we did on the wooden.

Gingham Woes

2010-04-09T08:37:00.000-07:00

I just have something to say, and I'm not sure that anyone else in the world cares about this but me. (And my sister. I've heard her very definite views on the subject, and she's in my corner on this one. But as far as I know, we may be the only two.)

So here's my big question to the world at large: Is anyone else out there routinely infuriated by the gingham section of the fabric store? What on earth is up with this? There is always a large selection of ginghams available, and the prices are extraordinarily good. If you were to stand 10 feet away and squint, and never actually touch it, this would look like a great set up. But whenever you get up close to investigate more thoroughly, you discover that every single gingham is absolutely inevitably 60% polyester and absurdly thin. It drives me totally berserk.

It's not that I have anything against polyester per se. There are some horrible polyesters out there, but then again, there are some horrible cottons. It all depends on what you're after at the moment. If I'm looking for a tulle, or a chiffon, or a georgette, I'm fine with them being polyester. But ginghams are so clearly supposed to be cotton. They're so homey and Americana and wholesome . . . it's like finding out that your apple pie is composed of 60% tofu. It just ain't right.

It's not that I've never found 100% cotton gingham. Very, very rarely I'll run across a bolt of fabulously heavy cotton buffalo check - and whenever I do I snatch it up and get all greedy about it. But I just feel that this is a silly situation to be in, and that the fabric manufacturers out there are being ridiculous.

So there you go. I've spoken my piece. If any of you out there have an "in" with the heads of large fabric mills . . . pass along my message to them. I'm seriously displeased.

As Seen In . . .

2010-04-06T10:00:00.001-07:00

Well, well, well. This current issue of Kids LA Magazine is featuring an Amoretti dress! Sort of. Due to this new Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland movie, the magazine did a "Wonderland" shoot, in which they used the black and white stripe Fancy Free dress, and at least four inches of the hem is very clearly visible in the photo. This is downright funny on a whole number of levels. Here's the photo:

As you can see, I'm not just making this up to try to be popular. There is the Fancy Free hem, big as life, and if you doubt me you can go check for yourself.

In other Amoretti related Alice in Wonderland news, I should probably take a brief moment to point out that Alice was actually the daughter of the dean of Christ Church (my husband's college in Oxford) and so she grew up living in the college, right next to the cathedral. Lewis Carroll (Charles Dodgson) was an instructor there, and so he also lived in the college. His office was up in the Christ Church library, and from his window there he could see into the Dean's Garden where Alice and her sister played. He was a friend of the family, and made up the Wonderland stories for the girls to keep them entertained one afternoon while they were punting on the river. All sorts of elements in the book are traced back to the college. The Cheshire Cat tree is there on the college grounds, and the green door in the stone wall of the Dean's Garden is supposedly the door that the White Rabbit goes through. Apparently the White Rabbit's fixation with being perpetually late is a reference to Tom Tower keeping its time 5 minutes off from the rest of England. There are even some crazy carvings on the stone fireplaces in the Dining Hall that are credited with being the inspiration for some of the wacky Wonderland beasts.

But my point in bringing all this up here, is that Christ Church college was the setting for most of the Amoretti photos. This one, for instance, was taken in the library, near Lewis Carroll's office.

This one is on the Christ Church library stairs:

. . . and these two are on a punt on the river Cherwell, out in the Christ Church Meadows where Lewis Carroll first told the Wonderland stories to Alice.

So there you have it! I'm sure this means in some far-fetched way that Alice in Wonderland clearly would have worn Amoretti dresses if she had only lived 150 years later.

If you're in the mood for a little project . . .

2010-03-26T22:32:00.000-07:00

For anyone who is itching to do a little x-acto work, here are some sporty little tags for your Easter table! (These would work equally well as nametags, or for labeling the foods on a buffet.)

Step 1:

Download the sheet of tags, and print as many as required on glossy card stock. (If you don't have a good color printer and a stash of glossy card stock on hand, just trot down to your local Kinkos, and they'll do it for you for a buck.)

Name Tags1

Step 2:

Slice apart the 6 tags right along the colored edge. A ruler and an x-acto knife do the best job here, but scissors will get the job done. This is what you want it to look like:

Step 3:

An x-acto on this step is fairly non-negotiable. You want to slice just around the edge of the blue flower and buds, stopping at the fold line. Does that make sense? Here's a visual that will hopefully explain what I'm trying to say here. Slice right along the edge that (for illustrative purposes only) I have marked with a black line.

Step 4:

Fold and label! Repeat steps 1-4 as often as necessary.

There you go. Easy Peasy.

Vintage and Fabulous

2010-03-18T10:32:00.000-07:00

I love this potholder. Love, love, love it. So much so, in fact, that I out and out snitched it from Great Grandma Hoagie's kitchen. I promised to return it of course . . . but is that pineapple print not just the grooviest thing you ever laid eyes on?!

I'm feeling a bit cocky I'm afraid, now that the chicken apron turned out so authentically . . . and so I'm all inspired to try re-creating those incredibly cheerful pineapples. I wish I knew how old the fabric was. The potholder is clearly old, and clearly homemade - probably with the scraps left over from something else. But we're going to see Great Grandma Hoagie this evening, so we'll have to see if she has any clues about the age of this little beauty. And since you are all no doubt just as gripped by the potholder as I am, I'll make sure to keep you updated!

Just because it's applicable

2010-03-16T10:51:00.000-07:00

Bill Cosby - Tonsils

Found at abmp3 search engine

OK. If you've never heard this . . . or then again, even if you have, you need to give it a listen. And don't ask me why this player is all weirdly formatted. If I was any good at HTML then no doubt I could fix it. But I can't - so you'll just have to deal with the strangely jacked-up nature of the player and just push the play button.

When I was a little kid, my aunt had the old Bill Cosby LP, Wonderfulness, with the tonsil sketch on it. It was funny then - and, I'm happy to report, it's still funny now. The LP is long gone, but through the wonders of the internet, (and the people who industriously post things) I was able to find it last night and play it for my kids. (And for my husband, who was lying on the couch and couldn't get away.)

Tonsil Fun!

2010-03-15T18:22:00.000-07:00

Well, well. Spring Break is upon us . . . and guess what fabulously festive activity is underway at the Merkle household. A tonsillectomy! Yee-haw! What could be more fun than that?

And better yet, the victim - sorry I should say patient - of this said tonsillectomy is not, in fact, one of my children, but rather my poor, long suffering husband! Can you imagine?

We cracked out of bed this morning to get him to the hospital at 6:30 . . . and by noon we were back at home, minus his record breakingly huge tonsils, and a good bit of the rest of his throat. He's been watching lacrosse games with an ice pack on his neck, and I, in an effort to be helpful, have been clustering around with little pots of jello. Mercifully, he's not one of those dreadful patients who, when asked to rate their pain on a scale of one to ten shrieks, "ELEVEN!" He's been giving it a two or a three all day . . . but the poor man can't even speak, so I have a hard time believing that it's really a two.

I have laid in a vast supply of jello, ice cream, applesauce, yoghurt, and juice . . . and other than that I'm not sure what else I can do about it. You'll be pleased to know that I have also made up a nifty little schedule to keep track of the medications. They sent me home with a whole arsenal of medications, and it was a slightly daunting array of bottles. But since he's refusing to take the hefty pain meds, my nifty little schedule is becoming a bit obsolete. However, it made me feel like I was doing something productive, so that was good anyway.

I am now off to mash a potato for the invalid.

Recipe!

2010-03-04T21:59:00.000-08:00

So I finally got around to piecing together my random notes jotted down from the Fairy Cake baking escapade, and here is the result. If you feel like printing it out, go for the gold. (You should be able to print it as a 4x6 card but you'll very likely have to twiddle with the print setting to make it come out the right size.)

On the other hand, you can dash back and forth between the computer screen and your kitchen, which is my standard method and is great for testing your memory skills. In fact, tonight as I was cooking dinner I was melding 3 separate fish taco recipes into one . . . and so I would dash back to the computer, click the "back" button until I found the one that I needed, dash back out to the kitchen and measure out my lime juice and pepper flakes, zoom back to the computer again, click around with greasy lime juice fingers until I found the other recipe, jaunt back to the kitchen again . . . summing up, it was tedious. (But the fish tacos were completely fabulous, so that was good anyway.)

In other topics, are any of you hot enough on your ND Wilson book trivia to notice the Glastonbury reference in the 100 Cupboards series? Hhhmmmm? Anyone?

New Purse Up

2010-03-04T14:28:00.001-08:00

OK ladies - this one is especially festive. I'm giving away one Fancy Free dress - in winner's choice of color and size. So limber up and leave a comment to be entered to win!

Chicken Aprons and Fairy Cakes

2010-02-26T09:24:00.000-08:00

Warning: I'm feeling a bit smug. I finished the Atonement Apron in time for Hero's birthday, and it's pretty epically cute if I do say so myself. The fabric turned out pert' near identical to the original chicken print, and the finished apron has a very satisfactorily retro groove about it. What it comes down to, as a matter of fact, is that I'm pretty pleased with myself. Having committed the evil deed in my youth of cutting up my granny's heirloom apron, I feel that I have now redeemed myself somewhat.

Check out how cute this is:

And not only that - look at the fun detail at the back of the neck. Well, and also at the front of the neck, come to think of it.

So that's done and off my conscience. I still have to make the aprons for my other girls - but at least all the hard part is done now of getting the print right and designing the pattern. The actual sewing of future aprons takes only an hour or so.

Hero had also requested fairy cakes for her birthday - so I was back at my old favorite job of translating an English recipe into American units of measurement. I still can't and won't (or "willn't" as my daughter would say) cook in mls. Or grams. I always end up hauling out the good old scale, weighing the flour, and then measuring it into a cup and jotting down my results in the recipe so that next time I can simply use the cup from the start. Anyhow, the fairy cakes (which are essentially a flat topped cupcake) turned out to be quite a hit! And really, with a name like that, it would be hard to not like them, don't you think?

We've always had a bit of a soft spot for fairy cakes, because of a rather goofy family association. We went up Glastonbury Tor on

Jemima's birthday several years ago, and legend has it that the entrance to Fairy Land is there on the Tor somewhere. There is a ruined abbey up at the top of this outrageously shaped hill, and loads of old stories of people getting sucked into Fairy Land by the malicious little fairies. And of course, as any diligent reader of fairy tales knows, the very first rule to keep in mind if you are, in fact, sucked into Fairy Land is to Never Eat The Food! If you do then you won't ever get back out again.

So obviously we took along some fairy cakes in our picnic to eat at the top of the Tor . . . because really, what else would you eat if you were sitting perilously near the entrance to Fairy Land? Plus, better to be on the safe side and stuff yourself sick before getting sucked in . . . and then the real fairy cakes wouldn't look anywhere near as tempting! You know how it is . . . when you take the kids out into the woods you go over what to do if a bear comes. (Play dead, right? That's what I was always told as a child anyway.) And when you take the kids up to the door of Fairy Land, you go over the rules. "If, by any odd circumstance, you are kidnapped by fairies . . . Don't Eat The Food!"

Anyway, now you know (in case you were in doubt previously) how weird the Merkle family is.

I know this photo is totally blurry - it was pretty well into evening by the time we took the picture . . . but this is us defiantly holding up our fairy cakes on the top of the Tor.

Why I love to shop in Oxford

2010-02-23T11:20:00.001-08:00

Because for good or ill, you're guaranteed to see things that will stop you in your tracks. I do hate going into a store and shuffling past rack after rack of nondescript garments that make you wish you were home doing something important like trimming your toenails. Isn't it just a complete drag when you don't see even one thing that tempts you to so much as pick it off the rack to see what it looks like from the front?

I absolutely love going into a shop and being surprised by things - even things I'd never even consider buying. I mean seriously. That mac there on the left . . . who could pass up a rack of those without stopping to find out more? And the jumbo stripey number . . . well you can't deny it makes you look twice.

Then there's just the amazing tailoring.

Where you can spend ages just looking at the seams and trying to figure out how they did the placket on that jacket. And just look at the navy skirt. That's some very serious waistband action going on there. Or the piecing in the stripe dress and the black skirt.

And then there are just those things that are so completely wacked out they really make you stop, drop, and wonder who ever thought they were a good idea. For instance:

For a mere $400.00 either one of these items could be yours. The "Fitzjohn Jumpsuit" on the left, or the tribute to Michael Jackson there on the right. And - just when you thought we had plumbed the depths . . . let me introduce you to the $100 dollar skirts which would be indecently miniature on a lightbulb:

Seriously. I didn't photoshop them even a little bit. (And no, these aren't toddler sizes that come with a diaper cover - they are completely intended for people old enough to know better. Maybe I should start offering Skirties in larger sizes after all . . . )

Hhmmmm

2010-02-17T22:27:00.000-08:00

Will no one take me seriously ever again if I admit publicly that I really like this painting? I know, I know . . . it does have a certain, how shall I put it, "Tennyson-esque" overdramatization vibe going.

But then again, we all need a little touch of pompous self-seriousness every now and again . . . and what fills the bill better than a Pre-Raphaelite painting? (Well perhaps a Maxfield Parrish painting would . . . but only his Girl on the Rock series and not his impossibly nifty illustrations. And that reminds me that if you haven't yet entered to win the Knave of Hearts, you had better do so right speedily because this purse ends Friday.)

Anyhow, the point remains. I like this painting. And I have now gone so far as to hang it upon the wall of my blog, if only ever so briefly. I have not yet reached the extreme of hanging it upon the wall above my couch. (There's not a wall behind the couch as a matter of fact. But if there were, that spot should obviously be reserved for something much tonier. Like this for example.)

Tour of Oxford, Part 1: Christ Church College

2010-02-11T12:41:00.000-08:00

Alright then. It's time for a little "behind the scenes" action. I'm having the urge to take you all on a tour of my adopted city! If you actually showed up in Oxford to visit, these are the places I would drag you around to and make you look at anyway . . . so why not do it this way? Handier for you too, because this way you can just stop reading, whereas if I was actually trundling you around Oxford you would have to keep on looking at everything unless you wanted to be out and out rude and tell me you were sick of it.

The very first place to begin in Oxford is quite obviously Christ Church College. Very partisan of me to say that of course, as Christ Church is my husband's college. But even if it wasn't, Christ Church is still a very important part of Oxford, so I'm not being entirely frivolous by starting there. This here, is the front door . . .

. . . also known as Tom Tower. (The bell up in the top there is called Great Tom - thus, Tom Tower.) I should also mention, purely because I think it's interesting, that the bell weighs seven tons, that it used to be named Mary, and was moved from the 12th century Osney Abbey after the dissolution of the monasteries and it was somewhere along the line there that it was renamed Tom. The tower was designed by Christopher Wren, which is quite nifty if you're into architecture, but there are several other quirky things that go on here that are just oh-so-very, quintessentially, Oxford.

The first is that Great Tom rings 101 times every night at 9:05. The 100 rings are for the first 100 scholars - plus one who was added in 1623. Great Tom is the loudest bell in all of Oxford (and there are I don't know how many bells in Oxford) and so that ringing at 9:05 was historically the signal for all the colleges to shut their gates. It takes a goodish bit of time to get through all 101 rings - so presumably the scholars would have had time, once they heard the bells start, to make a mad sprint from the pubs back to their colleges before the gates closed them out.

The second quirky thing is that "9:05" bit. Why not at 9:00 you ask? Well, because apparently Oxford is 5 minutes off from Greenwich - and so they operate on that basis. "Oxford time" is 5 minutes off from the rest of England, and I should mention in passing that Oxford is about the only city I can think of that would even consider insisting upon their own time zone, much less have the sticktoitiveness to pull that off. Apparently though, once the trains came in, some of Oxford had to concede and go with the rest of England or else everyone would be missing their trains all the time. So there's a bit of confusion in Oxford as to what time it actually is - but Tom Tower still sticks it out and keeps Oxford Time.

If you were to walk up to that gate, you would find a man in a bowler hat who would refuse to let you in and would tell you to go around to the visitor's gate. If, however, you had my husband with you, he would casually walk straight in and say to the bowler hatted chap, "I'm a member of the House" and you could trickle through along with him. Usually he doesn't even have to say that because they recognize him - but sometimes if he has his baseball hat on they'll hustle over and say, "Excuse me sir, are we a member?" Christ Church, I should add, is referred to by its members as The House. It's a Latin pun I believe.

Anyway, once you've gotten past the porter and made your way through the gate, you'd find yourself here . . .

. . . in Tom Quad. There are several things to note here. The first is that you must never, under any circumstances, walk on the grass. Unless of course it's Trinity Term. Then it's ok.

Next - do you see that fountain in the middle? That's the Mercury Fountain. If you hop in, not only will you have the porters after you, you'll get slapped with a nasty fine. I happen to know this because I was at a dinner in the college at which the graduate students were moaning about the fine they had incurred the previous night by splashing about in it.

Here's a better look at the fountain . . . and of the Fancy Free Dress as a matter of fact. That fountain contains not just water lilies which are absolutely gorgeous when in bloom, but also a fish that was a gift from the emperor of Japan. It has a name, but I can't remember what it is right now. Charlie or Walter or something.

That building behind is another wall of the quad - and it's the dining hall. We'll get to that next time!

Street Drama

2010-02-10T18:39:00.000-08:00

Here's a photo that Mark LaMoreaux took while we were walking to the next location for our photo shoot. I was showing him how blessed I was by this road. One time I actually saw a delivery van all the way rammed up into that point, and some men were moving a grand piano out of the (very miniature) door of the house. That was an entertaining little vignette. I especially love the way they painted the yellow stripes on the road all the way until they essentially meet up there at the bollard. But what can you do when the city planners lived in the Middle Ages?

Hip, Hip!

2010-02-09T14:34:00.000-08:00

Or, to put it another way, Ya-Stinkin'-Hoo!

Time to check out the website! We are now officially ready for Spring to start springing!

Confession

2010-02-04T10:26:00.000-08:00

In the never ending quest for organization, I am still sifting through old files and photos on my old computer in the hopes that I will marshal them into some semblance of order on my new computer. How on earth does a computer end up more tangled and crazy than a junk drawer?!

However, that is neither here nor there. The point is that I ran across these photos from our infamous road trip from Oxford to Rome last Spring. This was our first view of the Alps, and so of course I started snapping photos. In the end it turned out that this was essentially our only view of the Alps, because although we drove straight through them we ended up doing the entire thing in the dark. Yes, I know it looks bright and sunny at this point, but we made a pit stop at Neuschwanstein Castle right on the very edge, and by the time we were really on the road into the mountains it was pure dark.

Incidentally (and very parenthetically) Neuschwanstein was likely the most tragic point of our entire trip - including the notorious hotel heist in Rome in which we lost all of our luggage. Knox, who was 10, had found a picture of Neuschwanstein in his atlas a month or so before our trip and was dying to see it. So when we decided we were going to do this ridiculous journey he begged for us to make sure we included it on the list. Obviously you really can't say no to that! So we planned our route to go via Neuschwanstein, and that was the most anticipated stop amongst the kids because Knox had really talked it up to all nine cousins. We double checked opening hours, and arrived at the castle with plenty of time. But when we went to buy tickets at the bottom of the mountain, they didn't feel like selling us any. And so they didn't. On the paltry excuse that they were closed - which they weren't - the lady in the booth wouldn't let us in. We were allowed to walk up the mountain and look at the castle from the outside, but that was all. And then we walked back down the mountain and got back in the van and drove through the Alps in the dark. And there was great mourning.

But the reason I bring this up is not to fuss about the Germans who clearly had no ability to empathize with a lot of children who really wanted to see the castle. The point is that when we got home and looked at the pictures on the computer, I was excessively cracked up at the "hidden picture" superimposed on the above photo. Clear evidence of what vital foodstuffs we packed with us on the trip. In case anyone was wondering if we were eating a balanced diet with special attention given to FDA recommendations, here's your answer. (You can see it, right?) Just in the interests of full disclosure, I think we packed 8 large jars . . . along with about 15 loaves of Wonderbread style white bread. That was lunch in the van - and sometimes dinner! But hey, you need a little comfort food when the Germans are being stinkers.

Atonement

2010-02-01T10:30:00.001-08:00

This chicken may take a little explaining. Because honestly, it's hard to deny that in the grand scheme of chickens, this one is perhaps a bit homely and goggly-eyed. So let me tell you why I love it so much.

When I was little, we had an apron that had been my great grandmother's. As a matter of fact we had lots of things of hers . . . aprons, gloves, hats, shoes, slips, and gorgeous evening dresses. She was a very stylish woman, my Granny. Picture Myrna Loy in the Thin Man.

She had a slip for every dress (a practice that should definitely be revived!) and a hat, shoes, and gloves to match. We have loads of her fun little cocktail aprons, and a killer pair of crocodile skin cowboy boots that I never fit and I've always been bitter about it. (She was a size 6 narrow.) We still have a huge box of her hats, and sometimes we get them out and let all the little girl cousins wear them for a tea party just like I did when I was little.

But then there was this other apron. It wasn't a cocktail apron. It was covered in absurd little chickens carrying school books and wearing scarves on their heads. And the thing was huge. It involved some kind of criss-crossing action in the back and was definitely not figure enhancing. It was more the kind of apron that Myrna Loy's housekeeper would have worn, and I'm sure that Granny used it for the real life drama of cooking and cleaning.

The apron floated around for ages and probably put in a stint in the dress-up box. Then at some point in my elementary years I decided that I wanted to use the fabric to make a dress for my sister's stuffed koala bear. My mother let me, and I hacked the thing to bits and whipped up what was no doubt an amazingly lovely dress for "Rosie."

Rosie's dress is long gone, and I, of course, had forgotten completely about the whole thing. But somehow or other a scrap of the fabric survived in my sister's fabric collection. I spotted it not long ago, and was filled with great remorse that I had slaughtered that fantastic apron! I would totally wear that sucker now . . . and I have no doubt that my memory of it being enormous and unwieldy was due to the fact that I was 10 years old.

So I grabbed the scrap of fabric, and I'm dutifully recreating the print. It's a ridiculously complicated repeat, and there are billions of different versions of the chicken, but I'm quite determined to get this as close to the original as humanly possible. And once that's done, I'm going to make aprons for my girls out of it. (Hopefully it will be done by a birthday coming up at the end of the month.) I'll probably make one for myself while I'm at it . . . and once that's done I will consider that I have atoned for the rash crafting behavior of my youth! (Or at least for that instance of it.)

New Purse Alert

2010-01-29T14:47:00.000-08:00

. . . in which I confess to my longstanding love of Maxfield Parrish's painting.

I went through a long Maxfield Parrish phase in my adolescence. So much so, in fact, that a boy in my 8th grade class gave me a huge antique Parrish print that had been his grandmother's. I discovered later that it was intended as a token of his affection . . . but I'm afraid I took the poster and not the affection. He got slightly bitter about it, transferred his attention to the next lucky recipient, and that was the end of that. Happy endings all round. And I hung the poster in my bedroom. It was this one - called Contentment. And I wish to goodness I remember what I eventually did with it - because it was a very old print, and very huge, and I'm sure it's worth quite a bit by now! (I wonder if I gave it back to the guy?)

Anyway, now you know. I love Maxfield Parrish. And you really need to enter for this purse!

How festive is this?!

2010-01-29T09:47:00.000-08:00

Super deluxe, huh? (Told you it was a good book!) 100 Cupboards is the Today Show children's book pick of the month! I'm just taking a little moment to bask in reflected glory and say that I knew it all along.

It's Out!

2010-01-26T14:00:00.000-08:00

So, I'm writing this in a bit of a peevish mood. Today is the big day! The Chestnut King is officially out! And guess who doesn't have a copy?! Yes. Good old me. Me, the same one who admonished you all only a little further down the page to make sure you remembered to pre-order.

I'm especially put out about this, because I reread 100 Cupboards and Dandelion Fire since last Friday, just so I'd be good and ready for it. I've been totally locked in story grip all weekend, and for what?! I finished Dandelion Fire last night, just in time, and it only dawned on me this morning as I limbered up to read Chestnut King today that I don't actually have a copy of this one yet. Nor have I ordered one. Somehow when your brother is the author you assume that there will be copies floating around.

Actually, my 11 year old Knox read this in manuscript form ages ago . . . so I could have done that as well. But I think I was in the middle of trying to get ready to move across the world again, and other things had my attention.

And so here I sit, without a car because Ben has it at the moment and so I can't go to the store and buy a copy, looking through old emails to see if Nate ever emailed me the manuscript back when he was writing it. I'm pretty sure he did, but I can't find it.

I may just have to call and see if my sister in law would be kind enough to send a copy up at kid-pickup after school and we could complete the hand-off that way. Somehow, by hook or by crook, I really need a copy of this before the end of the day!

Wow!

2010-01-20T10:49:00.000-08:00

Every time I find myself in the center of Oxford for one reason or another, I end up kicking myself that I neglected to bring a camera along to document some of the killer outfits that stroll past. Finally, last time, I remembered. I was fully prepared to get myself a mocha and sit down on a bench somewhere . . . and shamelessly take pictures of the people (mainly university students) who walked past me. I mean, after all, Oxford is always full of tourists taking pictures, so who cares? I stuffed my camera in my purse and resolved that I was going to knuckle down and do it.

The only problem was that I got distracted. When you're in the center of Oxford there's really too much shopping potential to just sit on a bench. It seems like such a waste to sit outside all those lovely shops, and my mission got sidetracked.

I was meeting Ben for lunch at Wagamama - one of our favorite lunch spots in Oxford. And as I approached the restaurant I happened to notice this little chap ahead of me. As I walked along the street behind him, drinking in the puffy hightops and skinny-leg, acid washed jeans, not to mention the electric purple sweatshirt, I suddenly remembered my camera! And aren't you all glad that I did so that you too can be blessed by his outfit?

Let's get a closer look at those hightops, shall we?

Do these give you the same feeling they give me? That they might have belonged to a boy in my 8th grade class? I really wish I could have seen them from the front - I have a feeling that they might have one of those velcro tabs across the top.

But the other real feature of the outfit is obviously those jeans. Did no one tell this poor guy about the 80's? That this has all been done before? That there is nothing new under the sun? That acid wash, skinny-leg jeans were one of the great fashion disasters of the last century? That those who forget the past are bound to repeat it?

Here's a surprise

2010-01-18T09:43:00.000-08:00

In the category of Weird Projects from my Past, this is a little gem that my husband just unearthed out of a box. (Have you noticed a theme lately? We're unearthing many things out of boxes and old files these days. Perhaps it's the spirit of early January kicking in.) But the point is, what with one thing and another, I'm running across all sorts of little blasts from my past, and I think it's especially funny that we still had one of these guys drifting around in the archives.

It's a dreadfully oversized chess knight, in case that was ambiguous. Why is it significant, you ask? Well I made it, along with, I think, 49 others, around the time Ben and I got engaged. I was doing the decorations for a fund raiser auction for Logos School, and the theme that year was Narnia. I needed centerpieces for all the tables, and so I chose gold chess knights with one ruby eye. (Anyone hot enough on their Narnia trivia to know which book that's from?)

Anyway, aside from all the rest of the decorations (which are a whole other story) I was manufacturing all these little units. My saintly mother actually cleared out her dining room . . . as in, removed the table and chairs (for weeks!) . . . so that I could set up folding tables and turn her dining room into an enormous, hideous, mess. I had crafted up the first knight out of clay. Then my sister and I somehow or other managed to produce a mold of it . . . and nearly asphyxiated ourselves in the process as I recall. Then I had to mix the plaster and cast each of these knights individually - which took ages, obviously, because each one had to dry for at least 12 hours before we could remove it and start up the next one. I had huge buckets of old chunky plaster, and bags and bags of the powdered stuff, and lines and lines of these silly knights all in my mom's dining room. I actually have no memory of where we all sat to eat during this phase.

One evening Ben came over to say hey, and when he came into the dining room I was standing on the folding table, bending over a 10 gallon bucket, mixing up a vat of plaster with a drill that had some sort of whisk attachment on it. I think my arms had gotten tired of holding the drill over the edge of the bucket on the table, so I had gotten up on the table to get a better angle.

(His and my sister's later, uncharitable read on the situation was that I was showing off. Total nonsense. It's just that my arms were tired.) Anyway, out of nowhere, the table broke. Who would have guessed? An eight foot folding table which had at least 40 hefty plaster chess knights, a large bag of powdered plaster, a bucket of liquid plaster, and then me. Well it split down the middle, the chess knights flew every which way, the plaster spilled all over, and I went sailing off. Ben caught me as a matter of fact. (If I put my mind to it I could probably draw some sort of sappy metaphor for our life out of that little incident. Ben always being there to catch me when my project overdose has sent me flying . . . ) It was all very dramatic.

But I also had to paint them all. I bought a gallon of gold paint that had some kind of metal dust mixed in (I'm assuming it wasn't gold dust!) and so I was assembly-lining these things like crazy. I'm quite interested to see the weird aqua patina on these after 13 years - the dust in that paint must have been copper.

I think it might have been the night after the smashing table incident . . . I was sitting on the floor with newspaper spread everywhere painting these little suckers. I had gotten sick of fiddling around with a paint brush, and so I was just dunking them head first into the bucket of paint. The base was too large to fit, so I still had to paint that part by hand. But I was not being overly clean in my painting methods - I was ready to be done with these. Gold paint was pretty well splashed all over me, especially my hands. Ben dropped by again that evening and asked if I wanted to take a quick break and go for a walk.

So out we went - and that's the night he proposed! He put the ring on me - and my first look at that ring was on my metallic gold hand!

In the end these all did make it onto the center of each table at that auction. As I recall, I bought a bunch of remnant black and white tiles from a flooring place and did about nine squares of a chess board on each table and put the knight in the middle. I never wanted to see them ever again after that night, but Ben insisted on taking one home. And here it is - interestingly aged after all that time!

Less than 2 weeks . . . have you pre-ordered yet?

2010-01-14T11:13:00.000-08:00

Here it is . . . the long awaited finale to the 100 Cupboards series, written by my very own brother. Release date is January 26th, so you still have time to get your copy pre-ordered. (And is that a cool trailer or what?)

And while we're on the subject of my brother's books, I really need to post this picture.

We were in Oxford when Leepike Ridge was released, right around the time of my son Knox's 9th birthday. So Nate sent him over an advance copy for his birthday which arrived actually ON the release date (so we weren't left out!) and he inscribed it to Knox. He said, "Read it beside the Saxon Burial Ground, and may it brighten your Oxford exile." The Saxon Burial Ground was the field bordering our yard . . . so Knox took it straight outside, plunked down by the edge of the Saxon Burial Ground, and read that book. Is that too cool or what? And it's a perfectly fabulous book - so if you haven't read it then you clearly need to put it on your list immediately!

Incidentally, we went metal detecting (yes, with permission!) in that field. We came away with some musket balls from the English Civil War which was pretty cool . . . but the friend who was with us actually found a small dragon head with a tiny jewel of some sort in one eye. That one actually turned out to be Saxon, and we were all very jealous.

Also of note, this picture is taken from our back door and you get a nice clear visual of my dryer. My only dryer. (Unless of course you count the radiators, tops of doors, and backs of chairs.)

Speaking of things that make me happy . . .

2010-01-11T13:33:00.000-08:00

This is another of my items that I'm ridiculously fond of. (It also turns out to be a bit startling for people who are perhaps more inclined to subtlety.) This started out it's life years ago as a simple, vintage, "Miracle" brand, fruit crate label, one of a bundle purchased by my sister-in-law on ebay. I adored it and bought it from her, and I was thinking of framing it. The only trouble was that it was so small. I really wished it was a bit bigger and more punchy. With no real end goal in mind, I thought maybe I should scan it, so that I would have a digital copy as well as the framed version.

It wasn't until it was scanned and I was staring at it on my computer screen that I realized the possibilities offered by this fabulous picture. "Miracle" has a number of the same letters as "Merkle" - so of course I started twiddling around with it in Photoshop.

In the end I wound up with the above image - and then I had a whale of an idea. I ordered an enormous, three foot, giclee print on canvas, stretched it on a frame, and hung it in my laundry room. One of the unexpected perks was that I liked it so much I spent a lot more time in my laundry room, just to stare at it. This resulted in everyone having clean socks quite a bit more often than before.

And, since I just happened to have found all these pictures, I will now shove up a picture of my old laundry room. (The picture is hanging on the wall at the right - but the glare of the window sort of washes it out.)

I was so thrilled with it, that when we moved to England I pulled it off the frame, rolled it up, and took it with us. It hung, at various times, in our living room and our kitchen in England.

The poor thing is a bit squished these days, with crease lines and various other signs of having had a hard life. But luckily I still have the old digital image, and I can crank out more giclee prints if need be! And I just might . . . because I'm still outrageously fond of this thing! And you never know . . . next time I just might make it a bit bigger.

2010-01-08T13:40:00.000-08:00

Alright - I know I already have posted about this before Christmas, but things were crazy then . . . and life was a blur . . . and, well, who knows what I said.

We're starting a new category of Amoretti, called Amoretti by Me. This is inspired by the fact that I have three daughters, all of whom are perpetually chomping at the bit to sew . . . but coming up with projects that are at their skill level can be a bit difficult. More especially so if you are also hoping that the project yields a semi-tasteful result!

I am fully willing to grant that this is a personal moral failing . . . but I have to confess that I have a hard time investing a lot of energy into helping my kids make things that, at the end, will be something you put on the mantel for a couple days and then quietly move to the bottom of a drawer somewhere while no one is looking. You know what I mean? I ADORE and I mean absolutely ADORE it when my kids whiz up little projects out of their own pure brain . . . and I would display those proudly on the mantel indefinitely. But you know the kind of tacky project I'm talking about right? The kind of projects that are usually marketed for kids. They involve neon colors and cheap, glued on, doo-dads. And possibly plastic laces. And stick-on purple plastic jewels. You know what I'm saying? I just never really feel like spending money on those. And then I feel guilty and like a terrible mother because I know my kids would have a blast crafting up one of those things.

So Amoretti by Me is my attempt at alleviating my conscience and having fun sewing projects for my girls to do. Ones that I will actually feel like encouraging them to make! The first project in the line is this sachet kit. It covers super-basic sewing skills like turning a corner and top-stitiching . . . but the end result is actually pretty darned cute - plus it smells good! (And when you quietly move it to the bottom of a drawer somewhere, you're doing what you're supposed to!)

The front and the back of the sachet are printed onto 100% cotton fabric, ready to be cut out, and the kit also includes a complete instruction booklet, the lavender to fill it with, and pink satin ribbon for the loop.

Also - my girls are all at the age where they're just learning to sew, and I wrote the instructions with that age group and skill level in mind. This means that the instructions aren't just about making the sachet, but also about general sewing skills like careful cutting and ironing your seams. The goal of Amoretti by Me will be to have girls learn proper sewing techniques while making something fun and cute. My girls loved making them - and they whizzed up a few of them for Christmas gifts for grandmothers. (That's another fun virtue of this kit - the finished sachet makes a great "I made this myself" gift.)

One last note - the Amoretti website is currently under construction. So I'm putting the kit in the sidebar here for now, so that you don't have to wait til the site's done before you can order it. (And be sure to notice that the price goes down if you order several.)

And, if you're looking at the sidebar, you'll also notice that the kit is what's being offered for the giveaway this time - so be sure to enter!

The tablecloth in context

2010-01-08T11:13:00.001-08:00

I've been diving around through old pictures, and I happened across this one. This is my fun Paris tablecloth back in our old pre-England house. I don't have the house anymore . . . but thankfully I still have the tablecloth! And one of these times I'll get all crazy and post pictures of the rest of the house and all of the outrageous and totally uncalled for remodeling projects that we did to it. (Although looking at the remodeling pictures may give me a nervous twitch so we'll see.) But come on now - that's a cool tablecloth.

Glory Be!

2010-01-05T20:36:00.000-08:00

Ok now. Is that gorgeous, or is that gorgeous?

I'm so excited - I just found this tablecloth in a cardboard box under the window seat where it's been languishing for the last three and a half years. It's my very favoritest favorite tablecloth of all time, but in all the back and forthings between America and England the last few years it got stowed away, and up until tonight I couldn't remember where I had stowed it!

I bought this tablecloth on my first trip to Paris. As a matter of fact, I spent every red cent in my possession on this tablecloth, and it's the only thing I brought back.

Ben took me to Paris for our sixth anniversary, and we brought along our 4 month old little Hero, (who's about to turn 7 in case you want to do the math) but we left the rest of the kids in Oxford with Granny. (Long suffering saint that she is.) I had hoarded up my money to shop in Paris, because obviously if you're going to Paris you're going to want to shop. But as it turns out, there's not much time between meals in Paris. You can't squeeze too much into a day that's packed out with several 4 hour food marathons. (Not that I'm complaining of course.)

The most we managed on the shopping front was 30 minutes in one enormous department store called Printemps.

Although, when I say enormous department store, I don't think I'm quite getting my point across. I can hear you muttering under your breath that it doesn't look all that huge. So let's take a quick glance at it from the inside, shall we?

Are you with me? It was big. It was overwhelming. And it was in the middle of some kind of record-breaking Paris heat wave. And no one was speaking my language. And we only had 30 minutes until we had to be at our next meal. Literally. 30 minutes in this store was the entire extent of my Paris shopping. Things could have been worse, of course. If you're in Paris and you have money to spend, this seemed to be as good a place as any to spend it.

And then I saw the tablecloth. And that was that. I was completely in love with that tablecloth. It was ridiculously expensive, but then again - I had the money, and this was my one chance to spend it. So I splurged like crazy and bought the thing.

And now, after a hiatus of 3 1/2 years in a cardboard box, I pulled it out and I love it as much as ever! As far as I know, no one has ever been able to quite feel the thrill of this tablecloth besides me. People sort of look at me in a bemused kind of way when I wax eloquent about it. I don't know. I can't explain it, but there are just some things that give me a thrill, and this tablecloth is one of them!

2010-01-04T20:38:00.000-08:00

I'll be honest. I'm straight-up ready to be done with Christmas colors for a while. Peppermint color schemes and poinsettas are right out of question and I'd go so far as to say they give me a pain when I think about them. Two weeks ago I was all engulfed in silver satin and red taffeta projects . . . but, cute as they were, I'm all done with those. I'm ready for primroses now. And lemon sorbet. And yellow chiffon and white glossy paint. It was practically just a second ago that I was plunging around in my fabric scraps, desperately looking for a nice bit of black velvet (and thinking black thoughts when I couldn't find any) but now I'm eyeing my fabulous circus-spotted georgette and wondering what interesting things might be done with it. Doesn't that look splendidly promising?

I'm fully aware that this is taking things to extremes, but I'm changing my blog settings to only allow one post right now . . . because I just can't bear to have to look at the Christmas stuff! Into the archives it goes, and I'll have a nice, fresh, and very New-Yearsy blank slate. And the astute among you will notice that I have also altered the color scheme. Nary a poinsetta to be found.

Phew! That feels better.

Yahoo! A Sale!

2009-12-01T16:46:00.001-08:00

2009-12-01T16:45:00.000-08:00

And because you may need something to wear with this adorable tee to all of your Christmas parties, and also because I'm brimming over with Christmas spirit, I'm marking down the raspberry red Gypsy Queen skirt from $46.00 to $30.00! (In case you haven't put two and two together, that means you can get the complete outfit for the regular price of the skirt.)

2009-12-01T16:44:00.000-08:00

Oh! But then again, there's also the Dutch Beauty Skirt which would be equally adorable and festive at holiday events! So what do you say we mark that one down to $30.00 as well?

Idea #4

2009-11-30T22:16:00.000-08:00

This one is very deluxe. I love this one.

Personalized bookplates!
This is another perfect stocking stuffer, or that little gift you need for a niece /cousin / daughter's best friend / heck, pretty much any other female on your Christmas list!

And a terrific price!
A set of 12 adhesive bookplates for
$8.00

Bookplates are 3.75" x 3.25"

Just put the name you'd like printed on the bookplates into the "memo" section at checkout.

Idea #3

2009-11-30T22:14:00.001-08:00

Ok y'all. I'm super pleased about this little item.

This is the first product in our new Amoretti by ME sewing project line. (Stay tuned for sequels!)

This is a sew-your-own sachet kit, designed for (but obviously not limited to!) little girls. The kit comes with the fabric, the ribbon, and the lavender to fill it with, and complete instructions. How festive is that?!

This is a very simple sewing project, and the skills learned are basic things like cutting your fabric, turning corners, ironing seams, and top-stitiching . . . and you have an adorable sachet to show for it!

This is a perfect stocking-stuffer for every little girl on your list . . . but is also a terrific "I made this for you myself" gift for Grandmas, teachers, etc.

And you can't beat the price!
(Plus, order more and get a better deal!)

Idea #2

2009-11-30T22:13:00.001-08:00

Now, come on. Is this gorgeous or is this gorgeous?

My girls wear these all the time, and I LOVE them! Pale pink flower with red wooden beads in the center - and they can be worn as a hair-clip or as a lapel pin . . . which is equally adorable. Order quickly on this one, because the quantites are extremely limited and the price is extremely good!

$5.00

Sorry! Sold Out!

Idea #1

2009-11-30T22:10:00.000-08:00

Well. The season is officially upon us. Thanksgiving is wrapped up, leftovers have all been polished off, and the moment has come to think about cards and wrapping and stockings and cookies and parties and eggnog and mince pies and mulled wine.

And you need some stocking ideas, right? Sure you do. You're telling yourself that you'll handle it later . . . but you know what that means. That means manic Christmas Eve runs to Wal-Mart to purchase anything you can lay your hands on small enough to fit into a stocking, i.e. boxes of paper clips and some toothpaste.

So to save you from this awful plight I'm humbly offering my suggestions.

The first idea is, of course, the Skirty. You can never have too many of these. Seriously.

It's quite obviously a fabulous stocking stuffer . . . and so just for the pure festiveness of it all I'm slapping them with a "stock-up now" price of:

$12.00

The Great Cousin Candy Feast

2009-09-22T15:45:00.000-07:00

So. Here's a little event that no sane parent would ever decide to plan. A party of 13 children and an All-You-Can-Eat Candy Buffet. And yet - not only did we actually host one of these events, I actually went so far as to make t-shirts for the occasion!

Before you hastily write me off as a record breaking terrible parent - here's my excuse.

Early last school year, my 5 children cooked up the idea to save all of their candy for the entire year . . . and have an enormous candy feast with their cousins in America when they saw them the following Summer. "Yeah right." I thought. What kids would ever have the perserverance to save their candy for a whole year? So of course I told them to go for it.

Next thing I knew, they were writing letters to their cousins - telling them all to save up their candy for the great candy feast. Now - we're talking a good 10 months out. They were seriously planning ahead. I glimpsed one of the letters before it got dropped into the post - and along with the instructions about saving the candy there was a post script: "Save everything except chocolate and ice cream. They'll melt by then."

And my kids dutifully saved. They wondered anxiously if their cousins were doing the same. They got out their little hoard from time to time and counted it out. Eventually I realized that this thing was in deadly earnest when late in the Spring my son brought down the stash and placed it on the kitchen scale . . . and it weighed in at a whopping 2 kilos! And we heard from the aunts and uncles that the rest of the cousins were in fact living the dream on the other side of the Atlantic and creating stashes of their own.

Some of the cousins we saw in March when they flew over for a visit and we piled 4 adults and 9 kids into a van and drove to Rome together. That of couse was an even more insane idea than a candy feast (where do our kids get it I wonder?) and full of every possible kind of drama. But one of the chief occupations of the kids in the many hours in the van was to hold meetings about the candy feast. They got it pretty well mapped out, and had remarkably few squabbles about it, all things considered.

Byt the time we saw the cousins again this summer there was no choice. Whatever we thought of the sanity of the idea, these kids were showing ridiculous amounts of dedication! Not only had they saved the candy, they had also made out an itinerary of events for the occasion.

So on a Saturday afternoon several weeks ago, all the cousins brought over their piles of stale, decrepit old candy. I handed out the shirts.
And then we commenced with the festivities.

We had foot races . . .

And headstand contests . . .

And bike races . . .

There was even a trike division.

And then we opened the floodgates and just told them all to dive into the candy. You have seriously never seen so much candy with so many children with totally free access to it. It was incredible. There was Christmas candy and Easter bunnies and who knows what else. They watched Tin-Tin videos and snarfed it down like there was no tomorrow. Absolutely ate themselves into a stupor. But of course they loved every minute of it - and remarkably seemed to suffer no real ill effects. (Well ok - one of the cousins was reported to have woken up shrieking throughout the night - but surely that couldn't be connected . . . )

I have a feeling that won't be the last candy feast I'll ever be called upon to host. This could very possibly become an annual event!

The Lunchbox Project

2009-09-09T12:20:00.000-07:00

OK. There were several questions about where to dig up plain old tin lunchboxes . . . so I thought I might as well put all the resources up in one place.

First off - the lunchbox itself. You can find these particular numbers at (where else?!) lunchbox.com

Item Number Two: Waterslide Decal Paper. I adore this stuff. It just makes things look so nifty and non-homemade. (You'll also need a can of clear-coat acrylic spray which you can grab at any Wal-Mart or Home Depot or what have you.) You can purchase your waterslide decal paper at . . . suprprisingly enough . . . decalpaper.com!

Make sure you select paper for your particular kind of printer - and for this project you'll want white paper rather than clear. This stuff is super user-friendly. You just print it out, cut it out, give it a spray with your acrylic coat, soak it in warm water for about 30 seconds, peel it off the backing and then apply. Easy Peasy. Then after it's dry, give it another coat of spray for good measure. (Full instructions come with the paper.)

Next - the pink union jack. Obviously I can't personalize this for everyone - so this one is an Amoretti lunchbox. And who wouldn't want that??

Here is is - just click on the "more" tab, select Print and away you go! Then do your little trimming / spraying / soaking routine and you're all set for a sporty lunch! (Make sure you trim right along the line, leaving no white border.)

Lunchbox Fever

2009-09-01T14:04:00.000-07:00

So . . . this poor old blog has been sitting here getting downright tepid! Sheesh!

On the other hand, school just started - and I'm only just now peeling myself up off the floor after a stimulating few weeks of laying in supplies.

Here's one of the items I've been working on:

Yes. This was obviously crucial. Personalized pink Union Jack lunchboxes. Sometimes I find myself late at night, applying decals to lunchboxes (to take an instance at random) . . . and I wonder how it was again that I got into this particular situation. Not only for my own three daughters . . . but for all of their girl cousins as well. That means that there are still 4 more lunchboxes to go. However, they turned out pretty darned spiffy I have to say. So spiffy in fact, that I am putting a personalized pink Union Jack lunchbox into the Purse this time! So on the off chance that any of you felt inclined to sport one of these yourselves, now's your chance! Zip on over there and enter! And I really should also take a time out to say what a fabulous thing decal paper is. I adore it. Every well stocked home should have a goodish supply of decal paper. It's gorgeous stuff.

2009-09-01T14:02:00.000-07:00

Alrighty then. The moment has come to pick the winner of the last purse! And the lucky duck who receives the autographed copies of 100 Cupboards and Dandelion Fire, as well as a Skirty is:

Bec!

Bec left the comment, "Never freeze potato salad" which I, for one, am glad to know! I've never tried freezing potato salad, but then again, you never know when you might not just decide to try it. What happens to it I wonder? That sounds to me like a comment born of hard experience. Do the potatoes turn mealy? Or does the mayonaise get lumpy? Now I'm all curious.

While on the subject of freezing however, my hot tip is that PBJs (in sharp contrast to potato salad) freeze quite nicely. Weird but true. And not only true, but sometimes a darned useful thing to know. Make up a wodge of PBJs and chuck them in the freezer . . . and then when you're packing lunches and fixing hair and hunting for lost shoes and making sure that everyone's brushed their teeth in the morning you can just whip them straight out of the freezer and into the lunchboxes. And speaking of lunchboxes, I have something to say about that momentarily.

But in the meantime, congratulations to Bec, and email me at info@amoretti-designs.com to tell me what size Skirty you'd like, and who you want your books inscribed to!

Winner!

2009-08-07T14:54:00.000-07:00

Wow! So that was fast! Sogni Dolci nailed it! Nicely done. So . . . Sogni should drop me an email at info@amoretti-designs.com to tell me which t-shirt she'd like . . . and the rest of you should make sure to enter for the new purse!

The answer was Heidelberg, Germany - and the church is the Church of the Holy Spirit. Annie guessed correctly that the picture was taken from up at the castle, which, incidentally, had a beer keg on the premises that, I kid you not, was larger than our house. I've never seen such a thing! There was a dance floor on the top, and a spiral staircase up the side. I tried taking pictures in there, but it was so dark that none of them turned out - so you'll have to take my word for it that it was utterly huge.

As I'm sorting through all of our pictures I'll have to do the "name that city" contest again . . . it's fun that a number of you have been to the same places!

Meanwhile - bustle on over and comment on the purse. Two autographed books and a Skirty. What more could you ask for??!

2009-08-06T13:22:00.000-07:00

Well . . . here comes a contest that actually involves you having to know the right answer. No random number generator on this one. I'm putting up a picture of a city . . . and the first person to post the right answer gets the Amoretti t-shirt of their choice! So come on - it's worth a shot!

There are three parts to the question!
1. Name of the city
2. Name of the country
3. Name of the landmark that tipped you off to what city this is

Best guesses? I'll just let this one go until someone gets the right answer or this post just drifts off into oblivion . . . I'm quite interested to see which it will be!

**Clarification! Sorry - I think I was too vague. The map is actually NOT of the same city! Confusing I know . . . It's the picture of my girls that I'm asking about.

2009-08-06T12:59:00.000-07:00

So the moment has come once again to announce the winner of the purse! And this time it goes to "InFocus" who has 4 daughters, and thus may have a hard time choosing a size! Congratulations!

And for the rest of you . . . hang tight because I have a very festive purse which will be up and ready to enter for tomorrow!

Eton Mess

2009-07-30T15:28:00.001-07:00

Here's a very fun, very easy, very summery, very English dessert. Of course, if I was actually being very English about it it would not be a dessert, it would be a pudding. (As in, they'll eat a piece of pie for pudding. Or a piece of cake for pudding. Or, when they're being especially consistent, they'll eat a pudding for pudding. But, just to add to the nuance, their kind of pudding - the actual food item, not the category - is more like a soggy cake. I don't know what they call our kind of pudding. Wow. There's your linguistic factoid of the day.)

However, that is neither here nor there. You can eat this for pudding or you can eat it for dessert, and either way it's fab. This is the dish that is traditionally served at the annual cricket match between Eton and Winchester . . . and has been for several hundred years apparently.

You don't even need a recipe for this. You make up a wodge of meringues and then crunch them up. Then you whip up a slug of cream . . . and don't sweeten it too terribly much. I added vanilla . . . but that's because I'm American and I'm morally obligated to add vanilla to each and every dessert item. Then you mix it up with the meringues and layer it on into a trifle dish with strawberries that you've had macerating in sugar for a bit. And there you have it. Eton Mess. Essentially it's a Pavlova which has run into an accident of some sort and gotten smooshed. And it may be just me . . . but I happen to think it's crazy good!

Some Flower Girl Downtime

2009-07-27T21:02:00.000-07:00

Phew! The flower girls made it through the wedding (perfectly!) and came off the stage at just the right time! Also made it through the reception . . . and took a quick breather before heading off to the wedding supper. And what better than a stop at Starbucks for a well deserved chocolate milk with cream on top, and then a quick drive into the country for a little target practice? She's a darned good shot, too!

Plus, check out the dapper ring bearer. He was carrying the real rings too - not fake ones. This caused me much concern . . . what on earth would they do if the four year old had a system failure?!?! That would basically leave ME as the ring bearer . . . and that just wouldn't be nearly as cute. However, he also performed his task to perfection and there were no embarrassing scenes whatsoever. (He looks totally professional and competent doesn't he? How could I ever have doubted?)